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You’re Not a Finished Product: Embrace the Art of Building Yourself - Never were. Never will be. These words hold a powerful truth. From the moment we enter this world to our final breath, we are evolving beings, unfinished and unlimited. But many of us get trapped in the quest to "find ourselves." We pour time, energy, and attention into the search, hoping to uncover a fixed identity beneath the layers of our experiences. Yet, there’s a more empowering truth here: instead of merely discovering who we are, we can create who we want to be. Your Identity Is Not Fixed—It’s Fluid One of the biggest misconceptions is that our identity is some sort of buried treasure, waiting to be dug up. But identity isn’t a “found” object. It’s built, crafted, shaped, and molded, with each choice we make and each challenge we embrace. We often hear, "I need to find myself," but that phrase implies that we’re static beings, with a predetermined “self” waiting to be discovered. In reality, our identity is fluid, responsive to our thoughts, actions, and ambitions. Every experience, every hardship, every triumph adds depth and dimension to the person we’re becoming. You’re not discovering yourself—you’re constructing, designing, and refining. And that means you have the power to shape your identity, rather than be bound by a limited definition of who you think you are. Stop Searching, Start Creating The search for self is often a comforting delay—a way of stalling the work of real change. And change, no doubt, is daunting; it requires a level of discomfort. But this discomfort is essential because true growth happens when we venture out of our comfort zones. Imagine the potential you could unlock if, instead of endlessly searching, you dedicated that time to building yourself. So, what does building yourself actually look like? Define Your Values: Take time to outline what genuinely matters to you. These aren’t arbitrary preferences; they’re the principles that will guide your decisions and keep you grounded. Set Goals with Intention: Goals give direction to our growth. Make goals that challenge you, stretch you, and force you to become the version of yourself needed to achieve them. Focus on goals that align with your values and push you toward meaningful progress. Embrace a Growth Mindset: Believing in the potential to change is crucial. With a growth mindset, you recognize that setbacks and failures are just learning opportunities, part of the process rather than signs of failure. Take Small, Consistent Actions: Identity isn’t crafted overnight. Each small, intentional action is a brick in the building of who you’re becoming. Over time, these small efforts compound, creating lasting change. Stay Open to New Experiences: Growth thrives on variety. Seek experiences that broaden your perspective and force you to adapt. Each new environment, culture, and challenge you encounter will add new facets to who you are. Embrace the Journey of Becoming It’s natural to want a sense of security in our identity, a feeling of completion. But life doesn’t come with a “completed” sign. There is always room for expansion and evolution, no matter where you are on your journey. Embracing this idea allows you to see yourself as a constant work-in-progress, someone with limitless potential. By shifting from “finding” to “creating,” you reclaim ownership over who you are and who you are becoming. You’re not passively uncovering a “true self”—you’re actively shaping your best self, every day. So stop searching, and start creating. The person you’re becoming is far more exciting than the one you could ever find.
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May 9, 2025

Article of the Day

The Linger of Love: How Reminders of Your Ex May Keep You Stuck

Introduction Breakups are seldom easy. When a romantic relationship ends, it can leave an emotional void that’s hard to fill.…
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Introduction

In a world that often values logic and rationality above all else, the idea of being “in your feelings” is sometimes frowned upon. Emotions are seen as unpredictable, irrational, and even disruptive to our decision-making processes. However, recent research and a growing body of evidence suggest that being in touch with our emotions can actually enhance our judgment and should not be avoided. This article explores the benefits of embracing our feelings and why they are an integral part of making sound decisions.

  1. Emotions as Information

Emotions are not merely nuisances that hinder our judgment; they are valuable sources of information. When we experience emotions, our brains are sending us signals about our internal states and external circumstances. For example, fear might signal a potential threat, while joy may indicate a positive situation. Ignoring these emotional cues means missing out on vital information that can guide our decisions.

  1. Enhanced Empathy

Empathy, the ability to understand and share the feelings of others, is a crucial skill in interpersonal relationships and decision-making. When we are “in our feelings,” we are more attuned to the emotions of those around us. This heightened emotional awareness can lead to better judgment by allowing us to consider the impact of our decisions on others and make more compassionate choices.

  1. Creative Problem Solving

Emotions can also fuel creativity and innovative problem-solving. When we allow ourselves to feel deeply about a problem or situation, we are more likely to think outside the box and explore unconventional solutions. Suppressing emotions, on the other hand, can lead to rigid thinking and limit our ability to find unique solutions to complex challenges.

  1. Intuition and Gut Feelings

Intuition, often referred to as our “gut feeling,” is another aspect of being in touch with our emotions. Our brains process vast amounts of information at a subconscious level, and sometimes our initial emotional response is a result of this rapid processing. Trusting our intuition, when it aligns with our values and experiences, can lead to sound judgment that goes beyond what can be analyzed consciously.

  1. Emotional Resilience

Avoiding or suppressing our emotions can lead to emotional repression, which can have detrimental effects on our mental health and decision-making abilities. Embracing our feelings, on the other hand, allows us to build emotional resilience. When we acknowledge and process our emotions, we become better equipped to handle adversity and make decisions from a place of emotional balance.

  1. Balance and Integration

Rather than avoiding our emotions, the key to sound judgment is achieving a balance between rationality and emotional intelligence. Integration of both aspects of our decision-making process leads to more well-rounded and informed choices. This balance allows us to consider facts and emotions simultaneously, leading to more comprehensive decision-making.

Conclusion

Being “in your feelings” should not be viewed as a hindrance to good judgment but as an essential part of it. Emotions provide us with valuable information, enhance our empathy, fuel creativity, and guide us through intuitive processes. Avoiding or suppressing emotions can have negative consequences on our mental well-being and decision-making abilities.

The key is to recognize that emotions are a part of being human, and embracing them, while maintaining a balance with rational thinking, can lead to more informed and emotionally intelligent judgments. So, the next time you find yourself “in your feelings,” don’t rush to avoid or dismiss them; instead, consider what they may be trying to tell you and how they can contribute to your decision-making process.


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