Once In A Blue Moon


Kindness and niceness are virtues that many of us strive to embody. After all, being nice is often associated with being a good person. However, there can be a fine line between being genuinely kind and being too nice. While kindness is a wonderful quality, it is essential to recognize when it might be taken to an extreme. In this article, we will explore the potential downsides of being too nice and offer some insights into how to strike a balance between kindness and assertiveness.

The Perils of Being Too Nice

  1. People-Pleasing

One of the most significant risks of being too nice is falling into the trap of people-pleasing. When you prioritize others’ needs and desires to the detriment of your own, you may find yourself constantly striving to make everyone happy. This can lead to feelings of resentment, exhaustion, and a loss of your own identity as you become a doormat for others.

  1. Difficulty Setting Boundaries

Being too nice often means having difficulty setting boundaries. You might struggle to say “no” even when you have too much on your plate or when someone is asking for something unreasonable. This can result in overcommitment, stress, and a sense of powerlessness.

  1. Vulnerability to Exploitation

Those who are excessively nice may become easy targets for manipulative individuals. Con artists, users, and toxic people can sense vulnerability and take advantage of it. Being too nice can make you susceptible to exploitation and manipulation.

  1. Diminished Self-Esteem

Constantly prioritizing others over yourself can erode your self-esteem. When you neglect your own needs and desires, you may begin to feel less valuable or worthy. Over time, this can lead to feelings of inadequacy and unhappiness.

  1. Ineffectiveness in Conflict Resolution

Conflict is a natural part of human relationships, and being too nice can hinder your ability to address and resolve conflicts effectively. Avoiding confrontation and suppressing your own feelings can result in unresolved issues and simmering resentment.

Finding the Balance

While it is important to be kind and considerate, it is equally important to strike a balance between kindness and assertiveness. Here are some tips to help you find that balance:

  1. Self-Reflection: Take time to assess your own needs and priorities. Recognize that it is okay to prioritize yourself at times without feeling guilty.
  2. Practice Saying “No”: Learn to say “no” when necessary. It is not selfish to decline requests or set boundaries—it is an essential aspect of self-care.
  3. Communication: Open and honest communication is key to healthy relationships. Express your thoughts, feelings, and concerns assertively but respectfully.
  4. Seek Support: Talk to friends, family, or a therapist about your tendencies to be overly nice. They can offer valuable insights and support as you work on finding balance.
  5. Learn from Mistakes: Don’t be too hard on yourself if you realize you’ve been too nice in the past. Mistakes happen, but they also provide opportunities for growth and change.


Being nice is a commendable quality, but it is essential to be aware of the potential downsides of being too nice. Striving for a balance between kindness and assertiveness can lead to healthier relationships, improved self-esteem, and a greater sense of personal fulfillment. Remember that it is possible to be both kind and assertive, and finding that balance is a journey worth embarking on.

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