Once In A Blue Moon


Narcissism is a personality disorder characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance, a constant need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others. One intriguing aspect of narcissistic behavior is their tendency to treat their feelings as if they were indisputable facts. When a narcissist experiences anger, rage, or any negative emotion, they often convince themselves that these feelings are entirely justified. This phenomenon sheds light on the complex inner workings of a narcissist’s mind, showcasing how they can spread lies about others and genuinely believe them to be true. In this article, we delve into the psychology behind this behavior and explore the unique perspective of a narcissist’s reality.

The Narcissist’s Perceived Justification

Narcissists have an uncanny ability to believe that their emotions are an accurate reflection of reality. When they experience anger or resentment towards someone, they firmly believe that their feelings are evidence of that person’s wrongdoing. This allows them to justify their emotions and actions, even when they may be entirely disproportionate or unfounded.

For example, if a narcissist becomes enraged by a minor inconvenience caused by a colleague, they are likely to convince themselves that the colleague intentionally harmed them. In their mind, their anger becomes the undeniable proof of the colleague’s malicious intent. This distorted perception leads narcissists to attribute malicious motives to others based solely on their own emotional responses.

The Reinforcement Loop

Narcissists often reinforce their beliefs through repetition. The more they vocalize their negative emotions and accusations, the more firmly they convince themselves that they are correct. This reinforcement loop can make it exceptionally challenging to reason with a narcissist or to make them see alternative perspectives.

In Maria Consiglio’s words, “The more they say it, the more they believe it is the truth.” This mantra encapsulates the self-reinforcing nature of a narcissist’s beliefs. The repetition of their grievances solidifies their conviction that their emotions are a reflection of objective reality.

The Victim Mentality

Narcissists frequently adopt a victim mentality, where they perceive themselves as perpetual victims of others’ actions. They genuinely believe that everything is someone else’s fault and rarely take responsibility for their actions or emotions. This mindset is a direct consequence of treating their feelings as facts. When they feel wronged, they automatically assume that they are the victims, irrespective of the actual circumstances.

Living in a Delusional World

Narcissists inhabit a world built on their delusions, where their emotions reign supreme as irrefutable truths. This distorted reality can be incredibly frustrating and perplexing for those who interact with narcissists. To an outsider, their behavior may seem irrational and unjustified, but within the narcissist’s mind, everything aligns perfectly with their feelings.

The Unique Narcissistic Perspective

It’s important to note that narcissists’ minds work differently from those of individuals without narcissistic traits. Their cognitive processes are shaped by their disorder, making their perspective and behavior seem inexplicable to others. Understanding that narcissists perceive their feelings as facts can provide some insight into their mindset, even though it may never completely make sense to those unaffected by narcissism.


Narcissists possess a peculiar and challenging perspective on reality, wherein their feelings take precedence as unquestionable facts. This perception leads them to believe that their anger, rage, or negative emotions are justified, even in situations where they are not. As they reinforce these beliefs through repetition, they solidify their conviction that they are always the victims and that everything is someone else’s fault. It is crucial to approach interactions with narcissists with empathy and caution, recognizing the complexities of their disorder and their unique way of perceiving the world.

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