Healing is rarely a straight line, and it often doesn’t feel like progress at all. Instead, it can feel like unraveling. It can feel like loss. Letting go of old identities, roles, and relationships often brings a strange emptiness, even when it’s for the sake of growth. This sense of loss is not failure—it’s the natural shedding of what no longer serves you.
The Misunderstood Nature of Healing
We tend to picture healing as uplifting and restorative, filled with peace and relief. And eventually, it is. But in the early stages, it often looks like grief. You mourn the person you used to be, the roles you once held, and the connections that no longer fit. Even when something was damaging or limiting, it likely gave you comfort, routine, or familiarity. Releasing it can be deeply disorienting.
Why It Feels Like Loss
Letting go requires breaking attachment, and attachments don’t disappear easily. They are woven into your daily habits, your self-perception, and even your social roles. When you release them, there’s an identity void. You might feel untethered. You might second-guess your decisions. This doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you’re in the middle of transformation.
The Importance of Expecting Grief
If you don’t expect grief to accompany healing, you may think something has gone wrong. But the presence of grief is a sign that you are moving through something meaningful. Growth often asks you to leave behind versions of yourself that were once essential, but no longer reflect who you are becoming.
How to Navigate the Transition
- Acknowledge the Grief: Name what you are releasing, and allow yourself to feel the loss. Avoid pretending it doesn’t matter.
- Trust the Process: Understand that confusion, sadness, or fear are not red flags—they’re signals that you’re shedding something.
- Make Room for the New: As you grieve what’s gone, remember it’s creating space for something better aligned with who you are now.
- Celebrate Small Wins: Moments of clarity, peace, or newfound energy are signs that freedom is on its way.
In Conclusion
Healing is not a return to how things used to be. It’s an evolution. It’s the quiet, often painful work of releasing what no longer fits, so that something more authentic can take its place. Let the death of the old you make space for the version you’ve been becoming. It might feel like loss now, but what comes next is freedom.
