Life often presents us with closed doors—opportunities missed, relationships ended, or dreams that never materialized. In these moments, it’s natural to feel disappointment or even grief. However, when the sting of rejection lingers far too long, it’s usually not the closed door itself causing the pain—it’s our ego.
Ego has a way of distorting reality, making us believe that what’s behind every closed door is something precious, even when it wasn’t. This article explores how ego-driven thinking can trap us in cycles of regret and how shifting our perspective can free us from unnecessary suffering.
How Ego Magnifies Loss
When a door closes—whether it’s a failed relationship, a lost job, or a missed opportunity—our ego interprets the loss as a personal attack. Ego thrives on significance and status, making us feel entitled to certain outcomes. It tells us:
- “You deserved that.”
- “You were perfect for that role.”
- “You’ll never find anything better.”
These thoughts create a narrative that the closed door was the best possible option, even if it wasn’t. In reality, many closed doors are blessings in disguise, sparing us from things that could have brought stress, heartbreak, or stagnation.
Why We Cry Over Illusions
The problem is that ego attaches itself to the potential of what could have been. We imagine a perfect future behind that closed door, ignoring the red flags or realistic challenges that might have awaited us. This mental trap creates emotional investment in something that was never guaranteed to be good for us in the first place.
Examples of Illusions Created by Ego:
- Relationships: Staying hung up on someone who clearly wasn’t right, simply because the relationship ended on their terms, not ours.
- Careers: Mourning a job we didn’t get, convinced it was our dream role, despite potential hidden downsides like poor work-life balance or a toxic environment.
- Life Goals: Feeling crushed over missed opportunities while forgetting that better ones might be just around the corner.
Breaking Free from Ego’s Trap
- Question the Narrative
When you find yourself mourning a closed door, pause and ask: Was it really as great as I imagined? Consider its potential downsides, the effort it required, or the peace that might come from letting go. - Embrace Reality, Not Fantasy
Ground yourself in what is rather than what could have been. Practice acceptance by focusing on the opportunities still available rather than the ones lost. - Redefine Rejection
Understand that rejection is often redirection. A closed door doesn’t define your worth—it’s simply part of life’s unfolding process, steering you toward something better suited for you. - Detach from Outcomes
Ego clings to specific outcomes. Practice detachment by accepting that life doesn’t always follow a linear path—and that’s okay. - Stay Present and Grateful
Shift your energy from longing for what’s lost to appreciating what you have. Gratitude breaks the cycle of ego-driven desire by focusing on the present moment.
The Hidden Gift Behind Closed Doors
In hindsight, many of life’s closed doors are mercies disguised as disappointments. That failed relationship could have drained your energy. That missed job opportunity might have stifled your growth. That unattainable dream could have led to endless frustration.
Sometimes, there was nothing behind the door you’re crying over—no happiness, no fulfillment, and no peace. The sooner we recognize this, the sooner we can release ourselves from ego’s grip and step into the new doors life opens for us.
Final Thoughts
Ego can have us crying over closed doors that were never meant for us. By challenging ego-driven narratives and embracing life’s natural flow, we learn to accept that rejection isn’t always a loss—it’s often a hidden blessing. Let go of the illusion that something valuable was taken from you. More often than not, what’s truly meant for you lies beyond the doors still waiting to be opened.
