Once In A Blue Moon


The concept of authenticity has gained considerable attention in recent years, with many advocating for its importance in various aspects of life. Authenticity is often associated with being true to oneself and others, and while it’s a value upheld by many, there’s an interesting perspective that suggests you should only truly be yourself with one person—your partner. This idea proposes that everyone else should receive a curated, perhaps even a “fake” version of you. In this article, we’ll explore this notion and delve into the reasons behind why being yourself should matter most with your partner.

The Importance of Authenticity

Before we delve into the idea of presenting a curated version of yourself to the world, it’s crucial to understand the significance of authenticity. Authenticity is about being genuine, honest, and transparent in your thoughts, feelings, and actions. It fosters trust, helps build meaningful connections, and allows you to live a more fulfilling life.

However, some argue that there should be a distinction between the level of authenticity you show to your partner compared to others in your life. Let’s explore the reasons behind this notion.

  1. Vulnerability and Intimacy

In a romantic relationship, vulnerability plays a crucial role in building intimacy. To establish a deep and meaningful connection with your partner, you must be willing to open up, share your fears, hopes, and dreams, and be your true self without fear of judgment. This level of vulnerability fosters intimacy and trust, enabling both partners to feel secure and loved.

  1. Building a Strong Foundation

When you’re authentic with your partner, you’re laying the foundation for a strong and lasting relationship. It’s in these moments of honesty and transparency that you truly get to know one another. You learn to accept each other’s flaws and quirks, which can help you navigate the challenges that inevitably arise in any relationship.

  1. Emotional Support

Being yourself with your partner also means that you can lean on them for emotional support when needed. You can freely express your emotions, knowing that your partner is there to provide comfort, understanding, and empathy. This emotional support is invaluable in times of stress, grief, or personal challenges.

Why a Curated Self for Others?

While authenticity is undoubtedly valuable, there are reasons why some people advocate for presenting a curated version of themselves to the world, especially in non-intimate relationships:

  1. Social Dynamics

In social situations, it’s common to adapt your behavior to fit the context and the people around you. This doesn’t necessarily mean being “fake” but rather adjusting your social demeanor to make interactions smoother and more pleasant. It’s a form of social intelligence.

  1. Boundaries

Maintaining healthy boundaries is essential for personal well-being. Sharing your deepest fears or insecurities with everyone you meet may not be practical or appropriate. Having different levels of disclosure for different relationships helps protect your emotional boundaries.

  1. Avoiding Judgment

The fear of judgment is a common reason people hold back parts of themselves in various social settings. By presenting a curated version of yourself, you may reduce the risk of negative judgments or criticisms from others.


In the realm of relationships, authenticity remains a crucial value, but there’s a compelling argument for being most authentic with your partner. The unique bond of intimacy, vulnerability, and emotional support that you share with your significant other creates a safe space where you can be your true self without reservation.

However, this doesn’t mean that you should be fake or dishonest with others. Instead, it highlights the importance of adapting your behavior to different social contexts while maintaining a core sense of integrity and authenticity.

Ultimately, striking a balance between being yourself with your partner and presenting a curated version of yourself to the world allows you to navigate the complex landscape of social interactions while fostering meaningful, genuine connections with those who matter most in your life.

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