We’ve all encountered someone whose behavior leaves us shaking our heads, thinking, “What an asshole.” While everyone has their bad moments, certain character traits consistently create toxic, unpleasant, or damaging interactions. Understanding these traits can help you recognize problematic behavior in others—or even in yourself—and create strategies for managing it.
Here are the key asshole character traits, why they matter, and how they affect those around them.
1. Lack of Empathy
One of the defining traits of an asshole is a lack of empathy. They struggle—or refuse—to consider other people’s feelings, needs, or perspectives. This results in behavior that is selfish, cold, or outright cruel.
How It Shows Up:
- Dismissing others’ emotions or concerns.
- Making insensitive remarks during vulnerable moments.
- Exploiting people without regard for the consequences.
Example: A person who mocks someone for being upset instead of offering support demonstrates a blatant disregard for empathy.
2. Excessive Arrogance
Arrogance is another hallmark of asshole behavior. This trait involves an inflated sense of self-importance and a dismissive attitude toward others. Arrogant people often believe they’re superior and don’t hesitate to let everyone else know it.
How It Shows Up:
- Interrupting conversations to talk about themselves.
- Refusing to admit mistakes or accept criticism.
- Looking down on people they deem “less important.”
Example: A boss who constantly brags about their own accomplishments while ignoring their team’s contributions embodies excessive arrogance.
3. Chronic Negativity
Assholes often exude negativity, criticizing, complaining, or finding fault in nearly everything. This pessimistic attitude can drain the energy and morale of those around them.
How It Shows Up:
- Pointing out flaws without offering solutions.
- Undermining others’ confidence or ideas with sarcastic remarks.
- Focusing on problems instead of potential solutions.
Example: A coworker who shoots down every idea in a meeting without proposing alternatives creates a toxic environment of negativity.
4. Manipulativeness
Many assholes are skilled manipulators. They use deceit, guilt, or other tactics to get what they want, often at the expense of others. This behavior erodes trust and leaves people feeling used.
How It Shows Up:
- Gaslighting others to make them doubt their perceptions.
- Playing the victim to gain sympathy and avoid accountability.
- Using charm or flattery as a tool for personal gain.
Example: A friend who constantly guilt-trips you into doing things for them, despite never reciprocating, is engaging in manipulative behavior.
5. Inconsideration
Assholes often act without considering how their words or actions might affect others. They prioritize their own convenience or desires, even if it inconveniences or hurts someone else.
How It Shows Up:
- Being habitually late without apologizing.
- Ignoring basic social etiquette, like listening or taking turns in conversations.
- Making decisions that benefit themselves while disregarding others.
Example: A neighbor who throws loud parties late at night, ignoring complaints from others, exemplifies inconsiderate behavior.
6. Aggressiveness
Assholes often display aggressive tendencies, using intimidation, bullying, or verbal attacks to dominate situations or assert control. This behavior creates fear and discomfort in those around them.
How It Shows Up:
- Yelling or using threatening language during disagreements.
- Using physical or emotional intimidation to get their way.
- Picking fights over minor issues.
Example: A customer berating a retail worker over a minor inconvenience shows unnecessary aggressiveness and entitlement.
7. Refusal to Take Responsibility
Assholes rarely take accountability for their actions. Instead, they deflect blame onto others, make excuses, or deny any wrongdoing altogether.
How It Shows Up:
- Refusing to apologize when they’ve clearly hurt someone.
- Blaming others for their mistakes or failures.
- Justifying bad behavior with phrases like, “That’s just how I am.”
Example: A partner who repeatedly forgets important commitments but blames you for “expecting too much” is avoiding responsibility.
8. Entitlement
Entitlement is a common trait in assholes. They believe they deserve special treatment or privileges, regardless of their actions or circumstances.
How It Shows Up:
- Cutting in lines or demanding special treatment in public spaces.
- Expecting others to cater to their needs without reciprocation.
- Acting offended when they don’t get what they want.
Example: A guest who demands a custom menu at a dinner party but never hosts or contributes to gatherings themselves demonstrates entitled behavior.
9. Disrespect for Boundaries
Assholes often disregard other people’s boundaries, whether they’re emotional, physical, or social. They push limits to assert control or satisfy their own needs, regardless of the discomfort it causes others.
How It Shows Up:
- Overstepping personal space or ignoring requests for privacy.
- Pressuring others to agree with them or do things their way.
- Dismissing a “no” as unimportant or negotiable.
Example: A friend who constantly borrows things without asking or respecting limits shows a lack of regard for boundaries.
10. Habitual Complaining Without Action
While airing grievances is natural, assholes tend to complain habitually without ever taking steps to solve the problems they point out. This behavior creates frustration for those who try to help or find solutions.
How It Shows Up:
- Constantly pointing out problems without contributing ideas to fix them.
- Bringing down group morale by focusing only on negatives.
- Ignoring advice or help from others.
Example: A team member who complains about how something is done but refuses to suggest alternatives is engaging in unproductive negativity.
How These Traits Affect Relationships
Asshole behavior doesn’t exist in a vacuum—it impacts everyone around the individual. Here are some common effects:
- Emotional Drain: Constant exposure to toxic traits can leave others feeling exhausted and unappreciated.
- Breakdown of Trust: Manipulative or dishonest behavior erodes relationships over time.
- Increased Conflict: Aggressiveness and entitlement often lead to unnecessary arguments and tension.
How to Handle Asshole Behavior
If you encounter someone with these traits, consider these strategies:
- Set Boundaries: Clearly communicate your limits and stick to them.
- Don’t Engage: Avoid feeding into their negativity or taking their bait.
- Stay Calm: Responding with aggression only escalates the situation.
- Walk Away: If the behavior is persistent and harmful, consider distancing yourself.
Conclusion: Recognize, Reflect, and Respond
Asshole character traits—such as lack of empathy, arrogance, and aggressiveness—can make interactions unpleasant and toxic. Recognizing these behaviors allows you to navigate them more effectively, whether by setting boundaries or choosing to walk away. While it’s important to reflect on your own behavior to ensure you’re not unintentionally displaying these traits, it’s equally essential to protect your peace and well-being when dealing with others.
Ultimately, life is too short to tolerate toxic behavior. Surround yourself with people who uplift, respect, and value you—and strive to embody those same qualities in return.