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My Shit Def Isn’t Fully Together, But It Was Extremely Apart Before - Life is a journey filled with moments of clarity and chaos, and most of us oscillate between these states more often than we’d like to admit. The phrase "my shit def isn’t fully together, but it was extremely apart before" captures a common sentiment among those navigating the complexities of adulthood: progress is rarely linear, and sometimes just being a bit less disorganized than you were before is a significant victory. The Myth of “Having It All Together” Society often pressures us to present a facade of perfect organization and success. Social media perpetuates this by showcasing curated highlights of people's lives, leading many to feel inadequate if their own paths seem messier. But the truth is, nobody has it all figured out. Even the most successful individuals face moments of doubt, confusion, and setbacks. The myth of having it all together creates unrealistic expectations and can be detrimental to mental health. Embracing Imperfection Acknowledging that your life isn’t fully together can be a powerful step towards self-acceptance and growth. It allows you to embrace imperfection and focus on the progress you’ve made rather than the ideal of perfection. Celebrating small victories and improvements over time is essential. After all, personal development is about moving forward, not achieving a flawless state of being. Measuring Progress by Your Own Standards One of the key aspects of self-improvement is setting your own benchmarks for success. Comparing your journey to others' can be a source of frustration and disappointment. Instead, focus on your past experiences and how far you’ve come. Maybe a few years ago, your life felt chaotic, disorganized, and overwhelming. If today you’ve managed to find some semblance of order, even if it’s not perfect, that’s significant progress. Learning from Past Struggles Reflecting on how “extremely apart” things were before can provide valuable insights. Understanding what factors contributed to those chaotic times can help you develop strategies to avoid similar pitfalls in the future. Whether it was a lack of planning, poor time management, or unhealthy habits, identifying these issues allows you to address them and continue improving. Building Resilience Resilience is built through overcoming challenges, not by avoiding them. Each time you navigate a rough patch, you build the skills and mindset needed to handle future obstacles more effectively. A life that was “extremely apart” before but is now somewhat together demonstrates resilience and the ability to adapt and grow. This resilience becomes a cornerstone for tackling new challenges as they arise. Focusing on What You Can Control While it’s easy to get overwhelmed by everything that’s not perfect, focusing on what you can control can help ground you. Prioritize aspects of your life where you can make tangible improvements and accept that some things may remain uncertain or imperfect. This focus on controllable elements can reduce anxiety and help you make meaningful changes. The Power of Small Steps Significant changes often start with small, manageable steps. Whether it’s decluttering a room, organizing your schedule, or setting realistic goals, each small action contributes to a larger sense of order and accomplishment. Over time, these incremental improvements can lead to substantial progress. Finding Balance Striving for a balanced life is more realistic than trying to achieve perfection. Balance means acknowledging that while some areas of your life are improving, others might still need work, and that’s okay. It’s about finding a workable harmony between your aspirations and your current reality. Conclusion “My shit def isn’t fully together, but it was extremely apart before” is a powerful reminder that progress doesn’t have to be perfect to be meaningful. Embracing the journey of self-improvement, with all its ups and downs, is crucial. Celebrate the fact that you’re better off than you were before, and use that momentum to keep moving forward. Perfection is a myth, but improvement is a tangible and worthy goal. Keep striving, keep growing, and most importantly, be kind to yourself along the way. 4o

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April 3, 2025

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Many people go through life confined by invisible restraints—limitations imposed by fear, past experiences, societal expectations, or even self-doubt. These restraints shape what they believe they can achieve, how they interact with the world, and the choices they make. Over time, these limitations become so familiar that they feel like permanent parts of reality. However, they are not.

The moment these restraints fall away—whether through self-discovery, courage, or external change—life takes on a new dimension. Possibilities that once seemed distant become reachable. Freedom replaces hesitation. But first, one must recognize the nature of these limitations and understand how to break free.

The Illusion of Restraint

Many of the limits that hold people back are not physical but mental and emotional. They come in different forms:

  1. Fear of Failure
    • The belief that mistakes define a person, rather than shape them.
    • The tendency to avoid risks, even when they could lead to growth.
  2. Conditioning from the Past
    • Negative experiences that create self-doubt.
    • Family or societal expectations that dictate what is possible.
  3. Comfort in the Familiar
    • Staying in routines that provide security but no growth.
    • Choosing stability over the unknown, even when it leads to stagnation.
  4. Dependence on External Validation
    • Seeking approval before making decisions.
    • Fearing rejection to the point of inaction.
  5. Self-Imposed Limitations
    • Convincing oneself that certain dreams or goals are “unrealistic.”
    • Accepting mediocrity because striving for more seems too difficult.

These restraints do not exist because they are absolute; they exist because they have been reinforced over time. They can be removed.

What Happens When the Restraints Fall

Once the mental and emotional barriers are broken, a profound transformation begins. It is not necessarily dramatic or immediate, but the shift is undeniable.

1. Fear Loses Its Power

  • Fear does not disappear, but it no longer controls decisions.
  • The realization comes that failure is temporary, but regret lasts longer.
  • Risks become opportunities instead of threats.

2. A Sense of Ownership Over Life

  • Instead of reacting to circumstances, a person starts shaping them.
  • External pressures lose their grip, and choices are made from a place of authenticity.
  • Goals that once seemed distant feel achievable.

3. An Expanded Perspective

  • The world appears larger, not because it has changed, but because perception has.
  • New paths emerge that were previously overlooked.
  • Learning and growth become natural pursuits rather than forced efforts.

4. A Deeper Connection to Oneself

  • Without artificial restraints, a person’s true nature comes forward.
  • Passions, desires, and ambitions are no longer filtered through doubt.
  • There is clarity about what truly matters.

How to Break Free

1. Recognize That the Restraints Are Not Permanent

  • Every limitation was created by something—circumstances, past experiences, or external influences.
  • If they were created, they can be dismantled.

2. Challenge Every Fear and Doubt

  • Ask: “What is the worst that can happen?” Often, the worst-case scenario is less terrifying than imagined.
  • Reframe failure as a lesson rather than an endpoint.

3. Step Into the Unknown

  • Comfort zones feel safe but do not lead to freedom.
  • Every step into discomfort weakens the hold of old limitations.

4. Surround Yourself with Those Who Think Freely

  • People who have broken their own restraints can show what is possible.
  • Influence shapes belief—being around free thinkers fosters a free mind.

5. Take Action, Even Before You Feel Ready

  • Waiting for perfect confidence means waiting forever.
  • Action builds courage, not the other way around.

Conclusion: The Life Waiting Beyond Limits

A limited existence is not an unavoidable fate; it is a temporary state that can be changed. The moment the restraints fall—whether through realization, action, or the gradual breaking down of fear—freedom becomes tangible. It is not about reckless abandonment of structure, but about stepping into life fully, without invisible chains dictating the path.

The door to freedom is not locked. It has only ever been held shut by belief. Once that belief changes, the world opens in ways previously unimagined.


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