Once In A Blue Moon


Navigating through the myriad of emotions during a breakup is a taxing endeavor for all parties involved. What makes the process even more perplexing is when one partner utilizes excuses that blur the lines of truth. Understanding that some individuals resort to fabricating reasons for ending a relationship is crucial. This article aims to shed light on the phenomenon of concealing the real motives behind breakups and the underlying attempts to sever ties permanently.

Disguising True Feelings

When a person decides to end a relationship, they may not always communicate their genuine feelings and thoughts. A myriad of reasons contributes to this deceptive approach:

  1. Avoiding Conflict: Many individuals dread confrontational situations. By creating excuses, they hope to prevent heated arguments and maintain a semblance of peace during the breakup process.
  2. Shielding Self-Esteem: To mitigate the blow to their own or their partner’s self-esteem, people might resort to lies, masking their true desires and intentions.
  3. Controlling the Narrative: Some wish to exit the relationship perceived in a positive light, curating a narrative that paints them as the aggrieved party or someone forced into the decision due to circumstances beyond control.

Common Fabricated Excuses

Several excuses are frequently employed due to their effectiveness in deflecting blame and responsibility:

  • “It’s not you, it’s me”: This classic line aims to relieve the other person from guilt while not disclosing the genuine reasons for the split.
  • “I need to find myself”: While personal growth is vital, this excuse is often used as a smokescreen to cover up dissatisfaction with the relationship.
  • “I’m not ready for a commitment”: Sometimes, this might be a genuine concern. However, it is often used as a way to escape a relationship without addressing the real issues.

Recognizing and Responding to Dishonesty

It is important for the receiving end of the breakup to approach the situation with a discerning mindset:

  • Reflection: Look back at the relationship objectively and identify potential signs of discontent or issues that were not acknowledged.
  • Open Communication: Encourage honest and open dialogue, providing a safe space for both parties to express their true feelings without judgment.
  • Seek Closure: Understanding that you might never get the complete truth, it is essential to find closure, accepting that the relationship has ended and focusing on healing and moving forward.


Breakups are inherently painful and complicated, made even more so when dishonesty clouds the proceedings. Recognizing and understanding the reasons behind the use of fabricated excuses can provide clarity and aid in the healing process. While it may be tempting to dissect every word and action, finding closure and focusing on personal growth after the relationship ends is of paramount importance. Whether you are the initiator or receiver of a breakup, approaching the situation with empathy, honesty, and respect will ultimately pave the way for healing and personal development.

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