Happy National Jelly Bean Day! 
In a world where fashion, media, and personal expression are constantly evolving, conversations about empowerment and objectification remain as relevant as ever. The line between being sexualized and slaying is often blurred, but understanding the distinction is crucial for reclaiming agency and celebrating individuality. In this context, when we say “it’s slay,” we’re talking about power, confidence, and owning your narrative—on your terms.
What Does It Mean to Be Sexualized?
Being sexualized happens when someone is reduced to their sexual appeal or attractiveness, often without their consent. It’s about being viewed through a lens that prioritizes desirability over individuality, talents, or accomplishments. This objectification can be degrading and disempowering because it strips the individual of agency and turns them into a product for consumption.
Key Signs of Being Sexualized:
- Lack of Consent: Being objectified without permission.
- Dehumanization: Being valued only for physical appearance.
- Power Imbalance: When one’s worth is judged based on attractiveness rather than competence or personality.
Example: When media coverage focuses solely on what a woman wore instead of her accomplishments, it’s sexualization.
What Does It Mean to Slay?
Slaying is about stepping into your power with confidence, style, and authenticity. It’s owning your appearance, actions, and choices—not because someone else finds them appealing, but because you do. Slaying is rooted in self-expression, self-love, and personal empowerment. It’s an intentional celebration of oneself, with or without acknowledgment from others.
Key Signs of Slaying:
- Agency: You’re in control of how you present yourself.
- Confidence: You radiate self-assurance because you feel good about yourself.
- Authenticity: Your style, energy, and expression reflect your true self.
Example: When someone rocks a bold outfit or performs with unmatched confidence because it makes them feel unstoppable—that’s slaying.
Where the Confusion Happens
The confusion between being sexualized and slaying often comes from outdated social norms and double standards, especially for women, non-binary individuals, and members of the LGBTQ+ community. When people express themselves boldly, critics may label them as “asking for attention” or “trying too hard.” But context and who holds the power in the situation matter.
How to Tell the Difference
| Being Sexualized | Slaying |
|---|---|
| Someone else defines your worth based on looks. | You define your worth based on how you feel. |
| Driven by societal standards and external validation. | Driven by self-expression and personal power. |
| Often unwanted and objectifying. | Intentional and empowering. |
| Leaves you feeling diminished or uncomfortable. | Leaves you feeling empowered and unstoppable. |
Reclaiming the Narrative
- Dress for Power, Not Permission: Wear what makes you feel good. Whether it’s bold, edgy, or elegant, your style is your statement—not an invitation.
- Set Boundaries: If someone reduces you to your appearance, correct them. Assert your worth beyond aesthetics.
- Celebrate Others Without Judgment: Admire people who express themselves confidently without assuming their intent is to be sexualized.
- Redefine the Narrative: Call out media narratives that objectify individuals and praise representation that shows complex, empowered characters.
Final Thought
The next time someone claims that a bold outfit, dance move, or confident performance is “too much,” remember this: There’s a world of difference between being sexualized and slaying. Slaying is about owning the spotlight on your terms, while being sexualized happens when others try to reduce you to an object of desire. In this context, it’s slay—because embracing your power and authenticity is always a winning move.
4o
