Once In A Blue Moon


The age-old adage “two heads are better than one” holds a profound truth when it comes to making important life choices. Yet, in many families and relationships, there exists a dynamic where one person, often a mother, is the sole go-to individual for consultation on significant matters. While this may initially seem harmless or even practical, the toxicity of this dynamic can become apparent over time. In this article, we will explore the detrimental effects of relying solely on one person, such as a mother, for important choices.

  1. Limited Perspective

One of the most significant drawbacks of relying on a single person for important decisions is the limited perspective it offers. Every individual carries their unique life experiences, biases, and preferences. When a sole consultant is in charge, there is a considerable risk that these personal biases may heavily influence the decision-making process. This can lead to decisions that favor one person’s perspective over the collective good or fail to take into account the diverse needs and desires of all involved parties.

  1. Emotional Burden

Being the sole consultant for important choices can place an enormous emotional burden on the individual. Mothers, in particular, often bear the brunt of this burden, as they are expected to be both nurturing caregivers and wise decision-makers. The constant pressure to make the right choices for the entire family can lead to high levels of stress, anxiety, and even feelings of inadequacy. Over time, this emotional burden can take a toll on the person’s mental and emotional well-being.

  1. Lack of Independence

Overreliance on one person for decision-making can inhibit the development of independence and critical thinking skills in other family members or individuals involved. When people are consistently excluded from the decision-making process, they may never have the opportunity to learn how to make informed choices or take responsibility for the consequences of their decisions. This can perpetuate a cycle of dependency, where one person is always in control, while others become passive bystanders.

  1. Strained Relationships

The unequal distribution of decision-making power within a family or relationship can lead to strained relationships and feelings of resentment. Those who are excluded from the decision-making process may begin to feel undervalued, unheard, or even powerless. This can erode trust and create interpersonal conflicts that have long-lasting negative effects on the overall harmony of the family or relationship.

  1. Risk of Burnout

For the sole consultant, the constant pressure of making important decisions can lead to burnout. Burnout is a state of emotional, mental, and physical exhaustion caused by prolonged stress. Mothers who are expected to carry the weight of all decisions may find themselves overwhelmed, which can negatively impact their health and well-being. Burnout can also hinder their ability to make sound decisions as exhaustion takes its toll.


While it is essential to acknowledge and appreciate the valuable insights and guidance that a mother, or any trusted individual, can provide, it is equally crucial to recognize the toxicity of sole consultation. The limited perspective, emotional burden, lack of independence, strained relationships, and risk of burnout associated with this dynamic can have long-lasting negative consequences for all parties involved.

To foster healthier decision-making processes and stronger relationships, it is essential to promote collaboration, open communication, and shared responsibility when making important choices. Every individual’s voice and perspective should be valued and considered, ensuring a more inclusive and balanced decision-making approach that leads to better outcomes for everyone.

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