Once In A Blue Moon


In a world driven by social interactions, conversations are the lifeblood of human connection. For many, engaging in meaningful dialogues comes naturally, an effortless exchange of thoughts and emotions. However, for those battling social anxiety, these conversations can be a minefield of self-doubt and apprehension. One of the central challenges faced by socially anxious individuals is their constant worry about being liked by the other person. This anxiety often compels them to put on a façade, hindering the formation of genuine connections.

The Social Anxiety Dilemma

Social anxiety disorder, also known as social phobia, is a common mental health condition that affects millions of people worldwide. It’s characterized by an overwhelming fear of judgment and negative evaluation in social situations. This fear can be especially paralyzing in conversations, where the desire to be liked and accepted by others looms large.

The Problem of “Being Liked”

The innate human desire for acceptance and belonging is amplified in individuals with social anxiety. Every conversation becomes a potential minefield where they fear that one wrong word or action could lead to rejection. This fear of not being liked can be so overpowering that it drives them to put on a fake version of themselves, masking their true thoughts, feelings, and personality traits.

The Facade of Perfection

To cope with the overwhelming anxiety of being judged negatively, socially anxious individuals often create a façade of perfection. They meticulously craft their words and actions, striving to present an idealized version of themselves. This façade can make them appear overly agreeable, overly enthusiastic, or even disingenuous, as they avoid expressing their true thoughts or emotions.

The Consequences of Inauthenticity

While the intention behind this façade is to protect themselves from potential judgment, it has significant consequences on their ability to form genuine connections. Authenticity is the cornerstone of meaningful relationships, and when someone is constantly hiding their true self, it becomes challenging for others to truly get to know them.

The Loneliness Paradox

Paradoxically, the very fear of not being liked that drives socially anxious individuals to adopt a façade often leads to loneliness and isolation. When people cannot see beyond the carefully constructed image, they may struggle to connect with the real person underneath. This can create a profound sense of loneliness and frustration, reinforcing the cycle of social anxiety.

Breaking Free from the Facade

Overcoming social anxiety and its impact on authentic conversations is a challenging journey, but it is possible. Here are some strategies that can help:

  1. Seek Professional Help: Therapists and counselors can provide valuable tools and techniques to manage social anxiety effectively.
  2. Practice Mindfulness: Mindfulness exercises can help individuals stay present in conversations and reduce anxiety about future judgments.
  3. Embrace Imperfection: Recognize that nobody is perfect, and it’s okay to make mistakes in conversations. Authenticity often emerges when you allow yourself to be imperfect.
  4. Gradual Exposure: Gradually expose yourself to social situations to desensitize yourself to the fear of judgment.


Socially anxious individuals face a unique challenge in conversations, as their constant worry about being liked can lead to the creation of an inauthentic façade. While the desire for acceptance is universal, it’s crucial to recognize that true connections are built on authenticity. Overcoming social anxiety and allowing one’s genuine self to shine in conversations can lead to more meaningful and fulfilling relationships. With the right support and strategies, those battling social anxiety can break free from the constraints of the façade and find genuine connections that truly embrace them for who they are.

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