Once In A Blue Moon


In the complex world of modern dating, many people employ various strategies to navigate the intricacies of forming connections and building relationships. One such strategy that has gained attention is the idea that some individuals, particularly women, may keep men around by giving them just enough attention to eventually decide on who they want to be serious about. This tactic, often seen as a way to explore options and avoid rushing into commitments, has both its proponents and critics. In this article, we’ll delve into this phenomenon, exploring its psychological aspects, potential benefits, and the ethical considerations it raises.

Understanding the Dynamics

Before delving into the potential motivations behind this strategy, it’s essential to recognize the complexity of modern dating. The digital age has brought a multitude of dating apps, online platforms, and social media, enabling individuals to connect with numerous potential partners simultaneously. In such a competitive dating landscape, it’s not uncommon for people to engage in what is often called “multi-dating” or “keeping options open.”

For some women, this strategy involves giving various men a certain level of attention, which may include casual conversations, dates, or occasional encounters. The idea is to explore different personalities, values, and potential long-term compatibility before committing to a more serious relationship. It’s not necessarily about playing games but rather taking the time to make an informed choice.

Potential Benefits

  1. Avoiding Rushed Decisions: One of the primary benefits of this strategy is the ability to avoid making impulsive decisions about serious relationships. By taking the time to get to know multiple people, individuals can make more informed choices about whom they want to commit to in the long run.
  2. Reducing Pressure: Traditional dating can often come with societal or self-imposed pressure to find a partner quickly. Keeping men around in this manner can alleviate some of that pressure, allowing people to enjoy the process of getting to know others without feeling rushed.
  3. Learning About Preferences: Engaging with a variety of potential partners can help individuals better understand their own preferences, values, and deal-breakers in a relationship. This self-discovery can be invaluable when seeking a long-term partner.

Ethical Considerations

While the strategy of keeping men around to explore options may have its benefits, it’s not without its ethical concerns and potential downsides:

  1. Transparency: Honesty and transparency are essential in any relationship. Engaging in this strategy without being upfront about one’s intentions can lead to hurt feelings and misunderstandings.
  2. Emotional Impact: It’s important to consider the emotional impact on both parties involved. Stringing someone along without genuine interest or commitment can be emotionally damaging and is generally considered unethical.
  3. Manipulation: Some may argue that this strategy borders on manipulation, as it involves keeping people in a state of uncertainty. Healthy relationships are typically built on trust and open communication.


In the ever-evolving world of dating, strategies like keeping options open by giving men just enough attention to decide on a serious commitment are not uncommon. This approach can provide individuals with a valuable opportunity to explore their options, learn about themselves, and make informed decisions about their romantic futures. However, it must be done with transparency and consideration for the emotions of all parties involved. In the end, building healthy and lasting relationships requires open communication, trust, and genuine interest in one another, regardless of the dating strategy employed along the way.

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