Happy Tolkien Reading Day! 
Introduction
Feeling understood is a fundamental human need that plays a crucial role in building strong relationships and fostering emotional connections. When someone feels understood, they experience validation, comfort, and a deep sense of connection with the person they are interacting with. In this article, we will explore the essential principles and actions that can help you make someone feel truly understood and valued.
- Practice Active Listening
Active listening is a fundamental skill in making someone feel understood. When you engage in active listening, you are fully present in the moment and attentive to what the other person is saying. Avoid interrupting, offer non-verbal cues like nodding, and show that you are genuinely interested in their perspective.
- Validate Their Feelings
Validation is a powerful way to convey understanding. Acknowledge the person’s feelings and emotions, even if you don’t necessarily agree with their point of view. Let them know that their feelings are valid and that you respect their right to feel as they do.
- Use Empathetic Language
Empathetic language can help convey understanding and compassion. Phrases such as “I can imagine how that must have felt” or “I understand why you might be feeling this way” show that you are trying to put yourself in their shoes and empathize with their experiences.
- Ask Open-Ended Questions
Engage the person in meaningful conversations by asking open-ended questions. These questions encourage them to share their thoughts and feelings more deeply, allowing you to better understand their needs and concerns. Examples include “How do you feel about this?” or “What can I do to help?”
- Reflect Back Their Feelings
Reflecting back the person’s feelings can demonstrate that you are actively trying to understand them. You can say something like, “It sounds like you’re feeling frustrated about the situation,” which shows that you are tuned into their emotions.
- Avoid Judgment
Making someone feel understood requires creating a non-judgmental space where they can freely express themselves. Refrain from making hasty judgments or giving unsolicited advice. Instead, focus on being a compassionate and non-critical listener.
- Share Similar Experiences (if applicable)
If you’ve experienced similar emotions or situations, sharing your own experiences can help the person feel understood. However, be cautious not to divert the conversation to your own experiences; your aim is to validate their feelings, not overshadow them.
- Show Patience
Understanding someone may take time, especially if their feelings are complex or deeply rooted. Be patient and allow them the space they need to express themselves fully. Avoid rushing the conversation or seeking immediate solutions.
- Offer Support
Let the person know that you are there to support them, whether through a listening ear, a shoulder to lean on, or practical assistance. Showing your willingness to be there for them can enhance their sense of being understood.
- Revisit the Conversation
Check in with the person from time to time to see how they are feeling and if they need further support. Revisiting the conversation demonstrates ongoing care and a commitment to their well-being.
Conclusion
Making someone feel understood is a valuable gift that can strengthen relationships, build trust, and create a supportive and empathetic environment. By practicing active listening, validation, empathy, and patience, you can become a source of comfort and understanding in the lives of those you care about. Remember that feeling understood is not just about solving problems; it’s about creating a safe space where individuals can freely express themselves and be appreciated for who they are.
