Once In A Blue Moon


In any healthy and thriving relationship, equality, respect, and open communication are paramount. However, when one partner consistently applies different standards to themselves and their significant other, it can lead to tension, resentment, and ultimately, the deterioration of the relationship. This behavior is known as having double standards, and it can be toxic if left unaddressed. In this article, we’ll explore some signs that may indicate someone has double standards in a relationship.

  1. Unequal Expectations

One of the most prominent signs of double standards in a relationship is when one partner has significantly higher expectations for the other while expecting minimal effort from themselves. This can manifest in various ways, such as expecting the other person to always be available, but rarely making an effort to reciprocate that availability.

  1. Criticism vs. Tolerance

Double standards often become evident when one partner is overly critical of the other’s behavior while overlooking or justifying their own similar actions. For example, if your partner constantly criticizes your spending habits but never hesitates to indulge in their own retail therapy, it’s a clear indication of double standards.

  1. Double Standards in Communication

Effective communication is crucial in any relationship. When one partner expects complete honesty and transparency from the other but withholds information themselves, it’s a sign of double standards. This can erode trust and create a sense of insecurity within the relationship.

  1. Different Rules for Socializing

If one partner is allowed to spend time with friends and engage in social activities freely while the other is constantly questioned or discouraged from doing the same, it’s a blatant double standard. A healthy relationship should encourage both partners to have their own social lives and maintain their individual identities.

  1. Disparities in Decision-Making

In a balanced relationship, major decisions are typically made together, taking both partners’ opinions and preferences into account. However, if one partner consistently makes unilateral decisions while disregarding the other’s input, it’s a sign of double standards and a lack of respect for their partner’s autonomy.

  1. Emotional Availability

Emotional support is a vital component of a healthy relationship. When one partner expects unwavering emotional support from the other but rarely offers it themselves, it’s a clear sign of double standards. Emotional neglect can lead to feelings of isolation and resentment.

  1. Financial Discrepancies

Money matters can be a significant source of tension in relationships. Double standards may manifest when one partner controls the finances and expects the other to contribute financially while not doing so themselves. Financial transparency and shared responsibility are essential for a healthy financial dynamic.

  1. Blame Game

Double standards often involve a consistent pattern of blaming the other partner for issues and conflicts, while taking little to no responsibility for their own actions. This can create a toxic cycle of resentment and hostility in the relationship.


Recognizing the signs of double standards in a relationship is the first step towards addressing and resolving this issue. It’s essential to have open and honest communication with your partner to understand their perspective and express your concerns. A healthy, thriving relationship is built on trust, mutual respect, and equality, where both partners hold themselves to the same standards they expect from their significant other. If double standards persist and lead to emotional distress and imbalance in the relationship, seeking professional counseling or therapy may be necessary to work through these issues and find a path toward a more equitable and fulfilling partnership.

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