For many individuals, particularly those who receive a diagnosis of autism later in life, reflecting on childhood social interactions can bring a mix of insights and unanswered questions. The process of fitting in, making friends, and understanding social cues varies widely from person to person, but for those with autism, these experiences often require a conscious, deliberate effort from a very young age—even if they aren’t aware of it at the time.

The Early Efforts of Social Interaction

For neurotypical children, social skills often develop naturally. They pick up cues from their environment and gradually learn to interact with their peers through play and communication. These interactions are typically intuitive, with children adjusting their behaviors based on the responses they get from others around them.

In contrast, many individuals who are later diagnosed with autism may recall feeling like they had to put in much more effort to engage in what came effortlessly to others. They might have found themselves observing their peers and trying to mimic social behaviors to blend in or connect with others. This process can be mentally and physically exhausting, and often, despite their best efforts, they might still have felt like the “weird kid” in the group.

The Challenges of Early Social Learning

For many late-diagnosed autistics, the challenges of social learning go back to very early childhood, a time that most people don’t remember well. However, the effects of these early experiences can be profound. Many report feeling different or out of place without understanding why, which can lead to social withdrawal or anxiety.

The energy required to consciously navigate social landscapes can be significant. For children who are neurodivergent, each social interaction might require them to consciously think about how to act, what to say, and how to say it. They must anticipate how others will react, a process that is less about intuition and more about learned behaviors and trial and error.

Late Diagnosis and Its Implications

The journey to a diagnosis of autism can vary significantly. For some, a diagnosis comes early in life, providing access to resources and support from a young age. For others, particularly those diagnosed in adulthood, the journey can be quite different. These individuals may have spent years adapting to their social environment without understanding the reasons for their struggles.

Receiving a diagnosis of autism as an adult can be a double-edged sword. On one hand, it offers an explanation for years of feeling different and may bring relief, validation, and a better understanding of oneself. On the other hand, unlike conditions such as ADHD, an autism diagnosis in adulthood doesn’t necessarily open up new treatment options or support. This can lead some to question the value of seeking a diagnosis later in life, as the practical benefits may seem limited.

The Value of Understanding

While an official diagnosis may not change the support available to adults significantly, understanding one’s neurodivergence can still be incredibly valuable. It can improve self-awareness and lead to better self-management strategies. For many, it also fosters a sense of community and belonging as they connect with others who share similar experiences.

Moreover, understanding one’s neurodivergence can enhance personal relationships. Explaining one’s diagnosis to friends, family, and colleagues can lead to greater empathy and accommodation, improving social interactions and reducing misunderstandings.

Conclusion

For those diagnosed with autism later in life, looking back on the effort required to engage socially during childhood can be enlightening and sometimes challenging. While the tangible benefits of an adult diagnosis may not be as clear-cut as they are for other conditions, the intangible benefits—such as self-understanding and community—can be profoundly impactful. As society grows in its understanding of autism and neurodiversity, the hope is that individuals who feel “different” can find both the understanding and the support they need, regardless of the stage of life in which they find their answers.