Breakups are hard and can leave both parties emotionally devastated. Yet, sometimes, after the dust settles, one party realizes they want to give the relationship another shot. If you’re in this situation, wanting your ex back, it’s imperative to approach the matter delicately. She should feel that re-entering the relationship is a ‘win’ for her and not a ‘lose’. Here’s how you can navigate this complex terrain.
1. Self-Reflection:
Before anything, ask yourself why you want her back. Is it because you genuinely care and have realized the value of the relationship, or is it out of loneliness and fear of being alone? This introspection is vital. Your motives will guide your actions, and authenticity is crucial.
2. Understand Her Point of View:
For your ex to feel like getting back together is a ‘win’, you need to understand what went wrong from her perspective. This will require open-minded listening without being defensive. This shows maturity and a genuine willingness to mend things.
3. Become a Better Version of Yourself:
If you’ve identified any flaws or behaviors that contributed to the breakup, now is the time to work on them. This not only makes you a better partner but also shows her that you are serious about making the relationship work.
4. Reestablish Communication:
Start with casual conversations. Do not jump directly into the topic of getting back together. Instead, rebuild trust and rapport. Make her feel valued and appreciated without any ulterior motives.
5. Highlight Mutual Growth:
When you discuss the possibility of rekindling the relationship, emphasize how both of you have grown since the breakup and how this time could be different.
6. Respect Her Decision:
Despite your efforts, she might decide against getting back together. It’s essential to respect her decision. Remember, for a relationship to be a ‘win’ for her, she should feel empowered, not coerced.
7. Seek External Help if Needed:
Consider couples’ therapy or counseling. Sometimes, having a neutral third party can provide perspective and tools to rebuild a relationship.
8. Rekindle with Intent:
If you both decide to give it another shot, make sure you’re clear about your intentions and expectations. This clarity will act as the foundation for a healthier relationship.
9. Celebrate Small Wins:
Acknowledge and celebrate small milestones in your renewed relationship. This reinforces the idea that being together is indeed a ‘win’ for both of you.
10. Maintain the Momentum:
Complacency can be a silent killer for relationships. Keep the channels of communication open and continue to invest time and energy into making the relationship stronger.
In conclusion, wanting your ex back and making her feel that it’s a ‘win’ for her requires empathy, growth, and genuine effort. It’s not about playing games or manipulation. Instead, it’s about showing her that the relationship can be better, and that together, you both can create something beautiful and lasting.
