There’s a phrase that’s become popular in recent years — “We need to normalize this.” You hear it everywhere. Normalize crying in public. Normalize quitting jobs. Normalize talking about mental health. The message is often well-meaning. But let’s take a step back and really think about what it means when something has to be normalized in the first place.

If it needs to be normalized, it probably ain’t normal.

That doesn’t automatically make it bad. It just means it’s not part of the existing structure, the shared pattern, the social agreement. And when people try to force something to feel common before it actually earns its place in real life, that’s not progress. That’s pretending.

What Is “Normal,” Really?

Normal isn’t about what should or shouldn’t be. It’s about what is commonly understood, experienced, or expected by the majority of people in a society at a given time. It’s what you can do without needing to explain it. It’s what doesn’t raise eyebrows because it’s familiar.

So when someone says “normalize this,” what they’re really saying is “make this acceptable to the point where no one questions it anymore.” That might be a good goal — or a dangerous one — depending on what’s being pushed.

Why This Matters

Kids, you’re growing up in a world where everything is under debate. Identity, behavior, language, beliefs — all of it is being challenged, reshaped, and rebranded. Some of that is necessary. We’ve learned a lot about trauma, human dignity, emotional health, and social complexity. That’s real growth.

But not everything people want to “normalize” is rooted in wisdom. Some things are just trends. Some things are reactions to pain, not solutions for it. Some things are distractions, dressed up as enlightenment.

If you’re constantly being told to normalize something, ask yourself: Why isn’t this normal already? What would happen if everyone acted this way? Who benefits from this becoming common? And does it make the world stronger or weaker?

That kind of thinking will keep you grounded.

Examples Worth Questioning

• Normalize quitting everything when it gets hard
  Life will be hard. Growth includes pain. Normalizing escape doesn’t lead to strength — it leads to fragility.
• Normalize always putting yourself first
  Balance matters, but relationships require sacrifice, responsibility, and service. Self-care is not an excuse to be selfish.
• Normalize disrespecting authority
  Authority should be questioned when it’s corrupt — not casually dismissed just because it sets boundaries.
• Normalize attention-seeking as identity
  Not everything unique needs to be publicized, monetized, or celebrated. Some things should just be lived quietly, with integrity.

What Would Be Better

Instead of trying to normalize everything, focus on what’s true, what’s sustainable, and what builds character. Not everything different is good. Not everything common is healthy. And not everything popular is right.

True change doesn’t happen because something is normalized. It happens because something proves itself — over time, through wisdom, results, and resilience.

Final Thought

So listen carefully when someone says, “This needs to be normalized.” Ask why. Ask who says so. And ask what kind of life it leads to if we all go along with it.

Normal isn’t a goal. Truth is. Strength is. Honor is. Build those things — and the right kind of normal will follow.