Once In A Blue Moon


Relationships can be complex and challenging, often requiring effort, patience, and compromise to thrive. However, there are times when one party may resort to using seemingly insignificant issues or even non-existent problems as excuses to leave a relationship. This behavior can be detrimental not only to the relationship but also to the emotional well-being of both partners involved. In this article, we will explore why some people resort to such tactics and how it can affect relationships.

  1. Fear of Commitment

One of the primary reasons someone might use non-existent problems as excuses to exit a relationship is a deep-seated fear of commitment. Committing to a long-term relationship can be intimidating, as it often involves making sacrifices, sharing vulnerabilities, and investing time and emotions. Individuals who struggle with commitment may use minor issues as a way to avoid facing their fears directly.

For example, they might claim that their partner’s taste in music or hobbies is a problem, even though it has never been an issue before. In reality, they are using these trivial matters as a smokescreen for their commitment apprehensions.

  1. Avoiding Difficult Conversations

Another common reason for resorting to excuses in relationships is the desire to avoid difficult conversations. Addressing real issues in a relationship can be uncomfortable and emotionally taxing. Rather than having open and honest discussions, some individuals may create non-existent problems as an escape route.

For instance, they might claim that their partner’s family is a constant source of conflict, even if there have been no such issues before. This fabricated problem provides an excuse to avoid discussing more substantial relationship concerns or making difficult decisions about the future.

  1. Seeking External Validation

In some cases, individuals use non-existent problems as excuses to leave a relationship in a bid to seek external validation or sympathy from friends and family. They may exaggerate or create entirely false narratives about their partner’s behavior to gain support and approval from their social circle.

By painting their partner in a negative light, they can garner sympathy, making it easier to justify their decision to end the relationship. This behavior can be manipulative and hurtful, not only to the partner but also to those who have been misled.

  1. Lack of Communication Skills

Effective communication is the foundation of any healthy relationship. Unfortunately, not everyone possesses the necessary communication skills to express their feelings and concerns adequately. When faced with relationship issues, some individuals may resort to creating fake problems because they lack the ability to address genuine concerns in a constructive manner.

Instead of discussing their feelings, they may magnify minor irritations, such as a partner’s forgetfulness or occasional lateness, into insurmountable problems. This can lead to misunderstandings and a breakdown in trust.


Using non-existent problems as excuses to leave a relationship is ultimately a reflection of deeper issues such as fear of commitment, avoidance of difficult conversations, the need for external validation, or poor communication skills. While these excuses may provide a temporary escape, they rarely lead to long-term happiness or resolution.

Healthy relationships thrive on open and honest communication, mutual respect, and a willingness to address and work through real issues. It’s essential for individuals to recognize when they are using excuses as a way to avoid confronting their fears or shortcomings, and to take responsibility for their actions.

If you find yourself in a relationship where excuses are being used as a means to exit, consider seeking professional help or counseling to address the underlying issues. Remember that honesty and open communication are the cornerstones of building strong and lasting connections with others.

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