In a world filled with endless distractions, obligations, and decisions, it’s easy to find yourself overwhelmed or investing time and energy into things that don’t truly benefit you. Asking yourself the question, “Does this serve me?” is a simple yet powerful tool for living with intention. It helps you align your actions, relationships, and habits with your values and goals, leading to a more fulfilling and purpose-driven life.
This article explores why this question is essential, how to use it in different areas of your life, and how it can help you let go of what no longer serves you.
What Does It Mean to Ask, “Does This Serve Me?”
At its core, this question prompts self-reflection and evaluation. It’s about pausing to consider whether something—be it an action, thought, habit, or relationship—adds value to your life or hinders your growth.
- Serve: In this context, “serve” means to support your well-being, align with your values, or contribute to your goals and happiness.
- Key Focus: Does this action, person, or situation help you become the person you want to be, or is it holding you back?
Why This Question Matters
- Brings Clarity to Choices
Life is full of decisions, and not all of them are equally important. Asking “Does this serve me?” helps you focus on what truly matters. - Encourages Mindfulness
Instead of acting on autopilot, this question forces you to be present and intentional with your time and energy. - Eliminates Unnecessary Stress
Many stressors come from things that no longer (or never did) serve us—unnecessary obligations, toxic relationships, or unproductive habits. This question helps you identify and release them. - Builds Self-Awareness
Regularly evaluating your choices fosters a deeper understanding of your needs, values, and priorities.
How to Use “Does This Serve Me?” in Different Areas of Life
1. Habits and Routines
Every habit you have either contributes to or detracts from your well-being.
- Example Questions:
- Does scrolling through social media serve me, or is it a distraction?
- Does my morning routine set me up for a productive day?
- Actionable Step: Replace habits that don’t serve you with ones that align with your goals, like reading instead of scrolling or exercising instead of snoozing.
2. Relationships
Relationships should add value to your life, not drain it.
- Example Questions:
- Does this friendship support my growth and happiness?
- Am I in a relationship where I feel valued and respected?
- Actionable Step: Set boundaries or distance yourself from relationships that no longer serve you, and nurture those that do.
3. Work and Career
Your job is a significant part of your life—make sure it aligns with your values and goals.
- Example Questions:
- Does this role serve my career aspirations?
- Am I working in an environment that aligns with my values?
- Actionable Step: Seek opportunities for growth and fulfillment, whether by asking for new responsibilities, switching roles, or even exploring new career paths.
4. Thought Patterns
Your mindset shapes your reality. Negative or unproductive thoughts can hold you back.
- Example Questions:
- Does this thought serve my confidence or self-esteem?
- Am I holding onto beliefs that limit my potential?
- Actionable Step: Challenge unhelpful thoughts and replace them with empowering ones. For example, replace “I can’t do this” with “I can learn how to do this.”
5. Daily Decisions
Every day, we make countless decisions, from how we spend our time to what we eat.
- Example Questions:
- Does spending this hour watching TV serve me, or could I use it more productively?
- Does eating this meal serve my health goals?
- Actionable Step: Prioritize decisions that align with your values, such as cooking a healthy meal instead of ordering fast food.
How to Let Go of What Doesn’t Serve You
- Identify the Problem
Reflect on areas of your life where you feel stuck, drained, or dissatisfied. - Acknowledge the Cost
Consider how holding onto something that doesn’t serve you impacts your time, energy, or happiness. - Take Small Steps
Letting go doesn’t have to happen all at once. Start by setting boundaries, reducing time spent on unhelpful habits, or having honest conversations. - Focus on What Does Serve You
Redirect your energy toward people, habits, and activities that align with your goals and values. - Embrace Change
Letting go can be uncomfortable, but it’s essential for growth. Trust that creating space will allow better opportunities to enter your life.
The Benefits of Asking “Does This Serve Me?”
- Increased Productivity
Focusing on actions that serve your goals helps you use your time more effectively. - Improved Relationships
By prioritizing supportive connections, you cultivate healthier and more fulfilling relationships. - Enhanced Well-Being
Letting go of negativity and focusing on what serves you reduces stress and boosts happiness. - Greater Self-Confidence
Making intentional choices that align with your values reinforces your sense of self-worth.
Conclusion
Life is full of choices, and not everything we do or engage with will serve us in meaningful ways. By regularly asking yourself, “Does this serve me?” you can ensure your actions, habits, and relationships align with your goals, values, and well-being.
This simple question is a powerful tool for living intentionally and creating a life that truly reflects who you are and who you want to become. Time will pass either way—choose to spend it on what serves you best.
