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How You Can Change What You Feel Like Doing - At some point, everyone faces those moments when they know they should do something—whether it’s exercising, studying, or tackling household tasks—but simply do not feel like doing it. Changing your immediate “feeling” about an activity may seem challenging, but there are strategies to shift motivation and mindset so that you eventually want to do what you need to do. Below is a look at why our immediate desires sometimes clash with our goals, and how you can adjust your mindset to align your feelings with what you truly intend to accomplish. 1. Recognize the Gap Between Goals and Feelings 1.1 Short-Term Impulses vs. Long-Term Rewards Often, the main reason for a motivational gap is that our immediate inclination is to seek comfort or quick pleasure—what is known as the pull of short-term impulses. Meanwhile, the more beneficial tasks (like exercising or focusing on a difficult project) often involve effort or discomfort before we reap results. Identifying this tension can clarify why you might “not feel like” doing something, even though logically you know it’s worthwhile. 1.2 Emotional vs. Rational Brain Another way to look at it is through the lens of the “emotional brain” (limbic system) vs. the “rational brain” (prefrontal cortex). Sometimes, our emotional side amplifies how tedious or painful a task might be, while the rational side sees the logic in doing it. Realizing this dichotomy can help you approach motivation more strategically. 2. Strategies to Shift Your Feelings 2.1 Start Small (The 5-Minute Rule) One of the simplest techniques is giving yourself permission to do just five minutes (or a similarly short duration) of the task. Often, once you begin, momentum takes over, and the activity is less unpleasant than you initially imagined. That small start can transform your mindset from avoidance to willingness. 2.2 Re-frame the Task Instead of labeling something as a dreaded “chore,” try re-framing it to highlight the benefits or the enjoyment it might bring. For example, if you want to exercise, remind yourself of the endorphin rush or the sense of accomplishment you will feel afterward. By focusing on the positive outcome, you gradually change your emotional response to the task. 2.3 Tie It to Personal Values Linking an action to your core values can make you feel more intrinsically motivated. Ask: “How does this activity align with who I want to be or the life I want to live?” For instance, studying might connect to a value of continuous learning or self-improvement. Realizing you are acting in accordance with something deeply held can override surface-level reluctance. 2.4 Use Visualization Close your eyes and imagine completing the activity successfully, feeling satisfied and relaxed. Visualization can prime your brain to treat the task as more achievable and, in turn, create a sense that you want to experience the real version of that imagined success. 2.5 Set Micro-Goals Break the activity down into tiny goals. If you need to clean your room, start with one drawer or one corner. Completing a micro-task quickly yields small wins, which can shift your mood and encourage you to keep going. 3. Changing Internal Narratives 3.1 Replace Negative Self-Talk Sometimes, “I don’t feel like it” is an internal script fueled by negative or self-defeating statements. Listen to these thoughts and counter them with more constructive ones. For instance, replace “It’s pointless to start; it’ll take forever” with “One step now reduces the load later.” 3.2 Reward Yourself for Milestones Consider small rewards to celebrate progress. A reward might be a short break, a healthy snack, or just a moment of relaxation. By pairing an initially unappealing activity with a positive outcome, you gradually teach your brain to associate the task with something pleasant. 3.3 Practice Gratitude and Reflection Before or after doing something you originally didn’t feel like doing, reflect on what you gained. Maybe the task was less time-consuming than you feared, or maybe you learned something new. Gratitude for small advantages can alter how you feel about repeating such tasks in the future. 4. External Factors That Help 4.1 Accountability Partners Involving someone else—such as a friend or coworker who shares or oversees the goal—can boost motivation. Knowing you need to report progress or results to another person can spur you to take action even when you are unenthusiastic at first. 4.2 Adjusting Environment Adapting your surroundings to reduce distractions or enhance comfort can make a task more appealing. For example, play energizing music for chores, or rearrange your workspace to feel calmer and more inviting for study or creative work. 4.3 Time of Day Consider performing challenging tasks at times when you typically have higher energy or better mood. Some people are morning-oriented; others might find late afternoon best. Aligning tasks with personal energy cycles can change how you feel about doing them. 5. When Feelings Still Won’t Budge Even with strategies, there will be times when you cannot summon much enthusiasm. In those cases: Rely on Habits: Automatically doing something at a set time, like brushing your teeth, bypasses the need to “feel like it.” Re-Examine the Task: If consistent reluctance persists, maybe the task isn’t aligned with your deeper goals. Could it be delegated, or is there an alternate path to the same end? Be Kind to Yourself: Some days, forcing yourself might be best for progress, but also allow rest or breaks if you are genuinely burnt out. Realistic compassion can prevent future burnout or resentment. Conclusion Changing what you “feel like doing” involves blending mindset shifts, practical strategies, and environmental tweaks. Whether it is re-framing a dreaded chore, aiming for micro-goals, or leveraging the support of a friend, you can reshape your emotional response to tasks. Over time, these methods help ensure that you are not at the mercy of fleeting moods, but instead develop a steady commitment to the actions that align with your goals and well-being.
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May 14, 2025

Article of the Day

Recognizing Emotional Maturity in Others: A Guide to Understanding Emotional Intelligence

Introduction Emotional maturity is a valuable trait that can greatly impact the quality of our relationships and interactions with others.…
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Life can sometimes feel like an endless loop of chaos. One day bleeds into the next, tasks pile up, responsibilities go unmet, and no matter how hard you try, nothing seems to stick. This cycle of disorder, whether in your personal life, career, or mindset, can leave you feeling exhausted and powerless. But disarray is not a life sentence. There are ways to break free and regain control.

Recognizing the Pattern

Before change can happen, it’s important to acknowledge the state you’re in. Living in constant disorder often leads to:

  • Chronic stress and overwhelm
  • Difficulty making decisions
  • Procrastination and avoidance
  • A sense of stagnation or lack of progress
  • Frustration with yourself and your surroundings

If these symptoms sound familiar, it’s time to step back and assess where the breakdown is occurring.

Identifying the Root Cause

Disarray doesn’t happen without reason. There are often underlying causes that contribute to the cycle. Ask yourself:

  • Am I overcommitted and stretched too thin?
  • Do I struggle with time management or prioritization?
  • Am I avoiding something deeper—fear of failure, perfectionism, or self-doubt?
  • Have I lost sight of my goals or direction?

Understanding what’s feeding the chaos is the first step to untangling it.

Creating a Clear Plan

Breaking free from disorder requires intentional action. Here’s how to start:

1. Declutter Your Physical and Mental Space

Physical clutter fuels mental disarray. Start small—clean your workspace, organize your home, and create an environment that promotes focus. At the same time, clear out mental clutter by setting boundaries, cutting unnecessary commitments, and letting go of toxic habits.

2. Prioritize and Simplify

Not everything is urgent. Break down your tasks into manageable steps and focus on what truly matters. Use lists, schedules, or digital tools to track responsibilities without feeling overwhelmed.

3. Develop Consistency Over Perfection

Many people stay stuck in disorder because they wait for the “perfect time” to start or believe every step must be flawless. Progress comes from small, consistent actions rather than drastic, unsustainable changes.

4. Address Procrastination at Its Core

Often, disarray is linked to avoidance. Identify what you’re putting off and why. If fear or uncertainty is holding you back, push through by taking one small step forward each day.

5. Build Systems That Work for You

It’s not about working harder; it’s about working smarter. Establish routines, set reminders, and use habits to create a structure that reduces decision fatigue and keeps you on track.

6. Hold Yourself Accountable

Change requires commitment. Whether it’s through self-discipline, a friend, a mentor, or a coach, find a way to stay accountable. Progress is easier when you have support and a system in place to measure growth.

Breaking Free Starts Now

Living in a permanent state of disarray can feel like quicksand—every effort to move forward seems to sink you deeper. But you are not stuck. Small, intentional actions will shift the momentum in your favor. The key is to start now, with whatever step you can take today. Change doesn’t happen overnight, but it does happen when you refuse to stay where you are.


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