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How People Who Say They Are Inclusive Are Often Lying: The Limits of Modern Inclusivity - In today’s world, inclusivity has become a buzzword for many individuals, organizations, and social movements. The term suggests a commitment to welcoming and accepting people from all walks of life, regardless of race, gender, sexual orientation, religion, or socio-economic background. At its core, inclusivity promises to create environments where everyone feels respected and valued. However, there is a growing concern that those who claim to be inclusive often fall short of this ideal, especially when it comes to including people who do not share their beliefs or opinions. This contradiction raises an important question: Are people who say they are inclusive truly living up to that claim, or are they selectively inclusive, leaving out those who disagree with them? The Paradox of Inclusivity Inclusivity, by definition, is supposed to mean embracing diversity in all its forms. In practice, however, many who advocate for inclusivity fail to extend this principle to those with differing viewpoints. This leads to a paradox: while promoting acceptance and openness, these individuals or groups may exclude those who do not align with their own beliefs or social values. For example, in political or social discourse, someone might advocate for inclusivity but dismiss or ostracize individuals who express opposing opinions on controversial topics. Whether it’s about politics, religion, or social issues, those who don’t conform to the dominant ideology of the inclusive group are often sidelined or labeled as intolerant, ignorant, or even harmful. Selective Inclusivity in Action This selective approach to inclusivity can manifest in a variety of ways: Political Exclusion: A common form of selective inclusivity can be seen in political spaces. People who claim to be inclusive may champion equality and diversity but will exclude or condemn others who hold opposing political views. For instance, someone might argue for inclusivity of marginalized communities but refuse to engage with or accept the views of someone from a conservative or libertarian background. This creates a situation where inclusivity is applied selectively, based on ideological agreement rather than true openness to all perspectives. Social Media Echo Chambers: On social media, many who advocate for inclusivity may actively block or "cancel" people who disagree with their beliefs, creating echo chambers where only similar views are reinforced. Instead of fostering discussion and understanding, these environments shut out dissent, reinforcing the idea that inclusivity only applies to those who agree with the prevailing narrative. Workplace and Activist Groups: In organizations that pride themselves on inclusivity, such as certain workplaces or activist groups, people who hold contrary or unpopular opinions may feel unwelcome. While the organization may outwardly promote a culture of acceptance, individuals who voice differing viewpoints on sensitive topics—such as religion, gender identity, or politics—might be marginalized or silenced. This selective inclusivity suggests that the principle only applies if one aligns with the group’s values. Why Selective Inclusivity Occurs Group Identity and Ideological Purity: Many inclusive movements are built around a specific set of ideals or beliefs. While these movements advocate for the inclusion of marginalized groups, they also tend to enforce strict adherence to certain ideological standards. If someone challenges those standards, they are often seen as a threat to the group’s cohesion, and their exclusion is justified in the name of maintaining unity. Fear of Conflict: People who prioritize inclusivity may genuinely fear the conflict that can arise from engaging with opposing viewpoints. In an effort to maintain a harmonious environment, they may choose to exclude dissenting voices rather than risk creating division. This approach, while well-intentioned, ultimately undermines the idea of inclusivity because it avoids the difficult but necessary work of finding common ground. Moral Superiority: Some individuals or groups may believe that their commitment to inclusivity gives them a moral high ground, leading them to dismiss or belittle those who don’t share their perspective. This sense of moral superiority can lead to the exclusion of anyone who challenges their worldview, even if that exclusion contradicts their stated values of openness and acceptance. The Consequences of Selective Inclusivity The selective application of inclusivity has several negative consequences: Polarization: When inclusivity is applied selectively, it deepens social and political divides. Rather than fostering understanding between different groups, it leads to increased polarization, as people retreat into communities that reinforce their own views and exclude dissenting voices. Echo Chambers: Selective inclusivity creates echo chambers where only certain perspectives are heard. This limits critical thinking and the exchange of ideas, as individuals are only exposed to opinions that align with their own, further entrenching divisions and preventing meaningful dialogue. Loss of Trust: When people realize that inclusivity is being applied selectively, they may lose trust in the individuals or organizations promoting it. If inclusivity is used as a slogan rather than a genuine practice, it undermines the credibility of those who claim to support it. True Inclusivity: A Challenge and a Necessity True inclusivity means welcoming and respecting people not just for their race, gender, or background, but also for their differing opinions and beliefs. This doesn’t mean endorsing harmful or dangerous ideologies, but it does require being open to respectful dialogue with those who disagree with you. Real inclusivity is difficult because it challenges us to engage with perspectives that may make us uncomfortable. It requires setting aside the desire for ideological purity and instead embracing the messiness of diversity—diversity of thought, in particular. To practice true inclusivity, individuals and groups must: Engage in Dialogue: Inclusivity means having conversations with those who disagree with you and approaching those conversations with an open mind. This doesn’t mean you have to agree with them, but it does mean being willing to listen and understand where they are coming from. Avoid Labeling and Ostracizing: It’s easy to dismiss people as intolerant or backward when they don’t share your views. True inclusivity avoids this temptation and instead tries to find common ground, even when disagreements seem insurmountable. Reflect on Biases: Everyone has biases, and those who claim to be inclusive should regularly reflect on their own biases, especially when it comes to accepting differing viewpoints. Inclusivity isn’t about moral superiority—it’s about humility and the willingness to learn from others. Conclusion While inclusivity is a noble goal, its practice is often limited by selective application. True inclusivity means embracing not only the people we agree with but also those whose opinions differ from our own. It’s about creating space for genuine dialogue and understanding, even in the face of disagreement. When inclusivity is applied only to those who share the same beliefs, it becomes exclusionary and undermines the very values it claims to uphold. If inclusivity is to be more than just a slogan, it must include the willingness to engage with and respect all individuals, even those with whom we disagree. 4o
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June 1, 2025

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Poking the Bear in Everyday Life and Relationships

Introduction We’ve all heard the saying, “Don’t poke the bear.” It’s a metaphorical warning that advises against provoking a potentially…

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“Everybody gets what they deserve in this life. If you put in effort, you can achieve anything. Successful people are better people.” These statements encapsulate a widely held belief in meritocracy and personal responsibility. They suggest that hard work invariably leads to success and that those who achieve greatness inherently possess superior qualities. While there is merit to these ideas, it is essential to examine them critically, considering both their strengths and the complexities that challenge their validity.


1. The Meritocratic Ideal: Effort Equals Success

At the heart of the belief that effort leads to success is the meritocratic ideal—a system where individuals advance based on their abilities, talents, and hard work. This perspective is empowering, fostering a sense of agency and encouraging personal development. It posits that regardless of one’s background, dedication and perseverance can overcome obstacles and lead to achievement.

a. The Power of Effort

Numerous success stories highlight the transformative power of effort. Figures like Oprah Winfrey, who rose from poverty to become a media mogul, or J.K. Rowling, who overcame personal hardships to create the globally beloved Harry Potter series, exemplify how relentless effort can lead to remarkable success. These narratives inspire individuals to strive for their goals, reinforcing the belief that hard work pays off.

b. Encouraging Personal Growth

Believing that effort leads to success motivates continuous learning and self-improvement. It fosters resilience, as individuals are more likely to persist in the face of challenges, viewing setbacks as opportunities for growth rather than insurmountable barriers.


2. The Just-World Hypothesis: Everyone Gets What They Deserve

The notion that “everybody gets what they deserve” aligns with the just-world hypothesis—a cognitive bias where people believe that actions inherently lead to fair outcomes. This belief can provide comfort, making the world seem more predictable and just.

a. Psychological Comfort

Believing in a just world can reduce anxiety about uncertainty and injustice. It offers a sense of control, suggesting that individuals can influence their destinies through their actions and choices.

b. Accountability and Responsibility

This perspective emphasizes personal accountability, encouraging individuals to take responsibility for their actions. It aligns with societal values that reward merit and discourage complacency, promoting a culture of achievement and diligence.


3. The Perception of Successful People as Superior

Another aspect of the belief system is the notion that “successful people are better people.” This implies that success is not only a result of hard work but also a marker of superior character traits such as intelligence, morality, and integrity.

a. Role Models and Inspiration

Successful individuals often serve as role models, embodying traits that others aspire to emulate. Their achievements can inspire others to cultivate similar qualities, fostering a society that values excellence and ethical behavior.

b. Societal Status and Respect

Success frequently brings societal recognition and respect, reinforcing the perception that successful people possess inherent superiority. This can enhance social cohesion, as communities rally around shared values of achievement and contribution.


4. Challenging the Simplistic Narrative

While the meritocratic ideal and just-world hypothesis have their merits, they present a simplified view of reality. Several factors complicate the relationship between effort, success, and personal worth.

a. Systemic Inequities and Privilege

Not everyone starts on a level playing field. Socioeconomic status, access to education, healthcare, and social networks significantly influence one’s opportunities. For instance, individuals from affluent backgrounds often have access to better resources, mentorship, and safety nets, which can facilitate success more readily than for those from disadvantaged backgrounds.

Example: Studies have shown that children born into poverty face numerous barriers to educational attainment and career advancement, making the path to success more arduous despite similar levels of effort compared to their wealthier peers.

b. The Role of Luck and Circumstance

Chance events and circumstances beyond one’s control can significantly impact success. Being in the right place at the right time, meeting influential people, or avoiding unforeseen setbacks can all play crucial roles in one’s achievements.

Example: A talented entrepreneur may have a groundbreaking idea but fails to secure funding due to economic downturns, whereas another may succeed through favorable market conditions, despite having similar capabilities.

c. Mental Health and Well-Being

The relentless pursuit of success can sometimes come at the expense of mental and physical health. Burnout, stress, and the neglect of personal relationships are common side effects of an unbalanced focus on achievement.

Example: High-profile individuals in competitive industries, such as entertainment and finance, often face intense pressure that can lead to mental health challenges, highlighting that success does not inherently equate to personal well-being.

d. Ethical Considerations and Moral Integrity

Success achieved through unethical means undermines the perception that successful people are inherently better. Instances of corruption, exploitation, and dishonesty among successful individuals challenge the notion that success and moral superiority are inherently linked.

Example: Corporate scandals involving fraud or exploitation demonstrate that success can be attained through detrimental practices, contradicting the belief that success is a marker of superior character.


5. Balancing Effort with Realism

To navigate the complexities of effort and success, it is essential to adopt a balanced perspective that acknowledges both the power of personal agency and the influence of external factors.

a. Emphasizing Equity and Opportunity

Promoting policies and practices that ensure equitable access to resources and opportunities can help bridge the gap created by systemic inequities. Education reform, affordable healthcare, and inclusive economic policies are steps toward a more meritocratic society where effort can more reliably lead to success.

b. Recognizing the Value of Diverse Paths

Success manifests differently for each individual. Valuing diverse definitions of success—whether it be professional achievement, personal fulfillment, or community contribution—encourages a more inclusive understanding of what it means to lead a successful life.

Example: Celebrating community leaders, artists, caregivers, and activists alongside traditional business and academic successes broadens the appreciation of various forms of contribution and excellence.

c. Fostering Resilience and Adaptability

Building resilience and adaptability equips individuals to navigate setbacks and leverage opportunities more effectively. Developing these traits can enhance one’s ability to succeed despite facing adverse circumstances.

d. Prioritizing Well-Being

Balancing the pursuit of success with attention to mental and physical well-being ensures that achievements contribute to overall life satisfaction rather than detracting from it. Encouraging work-life balance, stress management, and healthy relationships fosters a more sustainable approach to success.


6. Conclusion

The belief that “everybody gets what they deserve” through effort and that “successful people are better people” encapsulates an optimistic and empowering worldview. It underscores the value of hard work, personal responsibility, and the potential for achievement. However, recognizing the limitations and complexities of this perspective is crucial for fostering a more equitable and compassionate society.

By acknowledging the roles of systemic inequities, luck, mental health, and ethical considerations, we can develop a more nuanced understanding of success and personal worth. Embracing this balanced view encourages policies and personal practices that promote true meritocracy—where effort and talent are rewarded, opportunities are accessible to all, and success contributes to the well-being of individuals and communities alike.

Ultimately, while effort and dedication are indispensable components of success, they operate within a broader context influenced by various external factors. Striving for a society that mitigates barriers and celebrates diverse forms of achievement ensures that the dream of everyone getting what they deserve becomes a more attainable and just reality.


Additional Resources:

  • Books:
    • Outliers: The Story of Success by Malcolm Gladwell – explores the factors that contribute to high levels of success.
    • Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol S. Dweck – discusses how beliefs about abilities affect achievement.
    • The Meritocracy Trap by Daniel Markovits – critiques the meritocratic system and its societal implications.
  • Websites:
  • Online Courses:
    • Coursera’s “Social Psychology” – offers insights into how societal factors influence individual behavior and success.
    • edX’s “Introduction to Sociology” – explores the structural influences on personal and group behavior.

By engaging with these resources and reflecting on the interplay between effort, circumstance, and success, individuals can cultivate a more informed and compassionate approach to personal achievement and societal development.

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