Jordan Peterson once said, “Maybe you are a loser. And maybe you’re not — but if you are, you don’t have to continue in that mode. Maybe you just have a bad habit. Maybe you’re even just a collection of bad habits.” As blunt as that statement is, it cuts to a powerful truth: your current state, no matter how low or dysfunctional, is not fixed. It’s not final. And most importantly, it can be changed.

Many people carry shame from past behavior, failures, or patterns that never seemed to break. The temptation is to take those experiences and shape a permanent identity out of them — to conclude that this is simply who you are. But that mindset traps you. It gives your worst days too much power and leaves no room for the better person you could become.

The reality is that much of what people consider personality or character is often habit. Habits of thought. Habits of reaction. Habits of avoidance. If you procrastinate, lash out, lie, or run from responsibility, these are not signs of being permanently flawed. They are often signs of deeply practiced patterns. And like any habit, they can be replaced — not easily, but absolutely.

The first step is recognition. Without honesty, nothing changes. You have to look at your behaviors with clear eyes and say, “This is not working. This is not who I want to be.” That might mean seeing how you blame others too often, avoid difficult conversations, waste time, or excuse your own lack of discipline. It’s not about self-hatred. It’s about self-ownership.

Once recognized, destructive habits can be unraveled one choice at a time. You don’t need to become a different person overnight. You need to make different decisions consistently. Show up where you used to hide. Finish something you would have abandoned. Speak up when silence would have been easier. These are the actions that build a new identity.

Growth is not the result of being someone else. It’s the result of stopping the habits that keep you from who you already are beneath the damage. You don’t need to rewrite your entire story in one stroke. You need to stop rereading the worst chapter and start writing the next one with intention.

Your past does not define you. Your habits do — and habits can change. It starts by refusing to accept the label of “loser,” not with denial, but with determination. You are not your worst moment. You are the decisions you make from here forward.