Most advice people give is bad advice. Not because they intend harm, but because they are not truly connected to the consequences. They have no skin in the game. They won’t be there to deal with the fallout if things go wrong, and they won’t share in the responsibility if things go right. Their words cost them nothing.

When someone gives advice without being accountable for the results, the advice often becomes shallow. It tends to lean toward safety, comfort, and social harmony. That sounds nice, but it’s not always what people need. Growth, change, and real decisions require pressure. They require friction. They require discomfort. And that’s where most advice falls short.

People tend to tell you what keeps the peace, not what cracks the surface. They may tell you to be patient when action is needed. Or to stay quiet when you should speak up. Why? Because it’s easier for them to preserve your comfort than to challenge you to face something hard. They aren’t trying to sabotage you, but they often unconsciously protect you from pain — even when that pain is necessary.

The best advice rarely feels good in the moment. It forces you to confront your own flaws, your own choices, and your own fears. It makes you uncomfortable. But that’s exactly why it’s useful.

If you want to grow, filter advice by one question: does this person benefit from telling me the truth? If not, take their words lightly. Because most advice, even when it’s wrapped in kindness, is only as valuable as the reality it’s willing to face.