The idea of a “proper death” is subjective and influenced by cultural, personal, and philosophical beliefs. It often refers to a death that aligns with dignity, peace, and acceptance, providing closure for both the individual and their loved ones. In contrast, an “improper” death is typically seen as one marked by suffering, fear, or lack of control over one’s final moments. Below, we’ll explore what might be considered a proper death and examples of both proper and improper deaths.

What Is a Proper Death?

A proper death often emphasizes the following aspects:

1. Peacefulness: The individual passes away calmly, with minimal physical and emotional pain.
2. Preparedness: There is a sense of readiness, where the person and their family have had time to say their goodbyes and address unresolved matters.
3. Dignity: The dying process respects the individual’s values and wishes, whether through hospice care, spiritual rituals, or other personal preferences.
4. Acceptance: Both the person dying and their loved ones accept death as a natural part of life, allowing for emotional and mental closure.

Example of a Proper Death

Imagine a terminally ill person who has chosen hospice care, surrounded by their family in a comfortable setting. They have had the opportunity to settle affairs, say final goodbyes, and make peace with their mortality. Pain is managed effectively, and they pass away in their sleep. This is often seen as a proper death, where dignity, control, and peace are maintained.

What Is an Improper Death?

An improper death is characterized by elements that may disturb the person or their loved ones, such as:

1. Unnecessary Suffering: Physical pain or emotional turmoil that isn’t properly managed.
2. Suddenness: A death that occurs unexpectedly, leaving no time for goodbyes or closure.
3. Lack of Dignity: The person’s wishes are not honored, leading to a loss of control over how they die.
4. Fear and Resistance: Both the dying person and their loved ones may struggle with fear and denial, making the process more painful and disjointed.

Example of an Improper Death

Consider a person who dies suddenly in a car accident. Their family is left in shock, and there is no opportunity for closure or preparation. The suddenness and unexpected nature of the event can make the death feel improper, as it’s marked by chaos and unresolved emotions.

Conclusion

A proper death isn’t about avoiding death itself but about the conditions under which it happens. While we can’t always control how or when we die, steps can be taken to foster a sense of peace, dignity, and acceptance. On the other hand, deaths that are sudden, painful, or out of sync with one’s values can leave lasting emotional scars, making them feel improper.