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December 5, 2025

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Why someone might not appear happy on the outside but be happy on the inside

People may not appear happy on the outside while being happy on the inside for various reasons: In essence, the…
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Dutch proverbs offer a window into the cultural wisdom and practical humor of the Netherlands. One such proverb is:

“Beter één keer rood dan honderd keer bleek.”
(Better to blush once than to grow pale a hundred times.)

This proverb conveys the idea that experiencing embarrassment or a momentary loss of face can be preferable to enduring prolonged anxiety or stress. In other words, it’s better to face a situation head-on—even if it’s mortifying—than to live with long-lasting regret or fear of failure.


Understanding the Proverb

The Meaning Behind the Words

  • “Beter één keer rood” (Better to blush once):
    Blushing is a natural, temporary reaction when we feel embarrassed or caught off guard. The proverb suggests that having a single, brief experience of embarrassment (being “red”) is acceptable, even beneficial. It implies that such experiences allow us to confront our mistakes, learn from them, and move on quickly.
  • “Dan honderd keer bleek” (Than to grow pale a hundred times):
    Growing pale here symbolizes a prolonged state of fear, anxiety, or shame. Rather than experiencing a single moment of inevitable vulnerability, the alternative is suffering in silence, marked by recurrent anxiety and self-doubt.

In essence, the proverb advises that confronting your challenges—even if it means momentarily facing humiliation—is a healthier option than living in perpetual fear and avoidance.

Practical Implications

The proverb emphasizes the importance of taking risks, learning from your mistakes, and embracing your humanity. It encourages people to be bold and self-accepting rather than being paralyzed by fear of making errors or being judged by others.


Possible Origins and Cultural Context

Historical and Cultural Background

While the exact origin of the proverb is not definitively known, it reflects a broader European tradition of valuing forthrightness and emotional authenticity. The imagery of blushing (turning “rood” or red) versus growing pale has been a common metaphor in many cultures for contrasting short-term embarrassment with long-term fear or regret.

Historically, in a society where public honor and reputation were crucial, a momentary loss of face—symbolized by a blush—was often seen as a necessary risk in the pursuit of honesty and self-improvement. It stands as a gentle reminder that the fear of potential embarrassment should not hinder personal growth or the willingness to face life’s challenges.

Similar Proverbs in Other Cultures

Comparable ideas can be found in other languages and cultures. For instance, in English, the phrase “Better an ‘oops’ than a lifetime of regret” carries a similar sentiment, reinforcing the value of taking risks rather than living with constant worry about making mistakes.


Using the Proverb in Conversation

Here are a few examples of how you might use “Beter één keer rood dan honderd keer bleek” in everyday conversation:

Example 1: Career and Risk-Taking

Context: A friend is hesitating to apply for a challenging job or promotion because they fear failure.

Conversation:
Friend: “I’m really scared of applying for that promotion. What if I mess up and everyone thinks less of me?”
You: “Remember, beter één keer rood dan honderd keer bleek. Sometimes a bold move, even if it causes a little embarrassment, is much better than constantly wondering ‘what if?’”

Example 2: Social Situations

Context: A family member is too shy to speak in front of a large group, fearing social awkwardness.

Conversation:
Family Member: “I’m so nervous about giving that speech. I don’t want to embarrass myself.”
You: “I get it, but think about it: beter één keer rood dan honderd keer bleek. It’s better to step up and show your true self once than to hide away and miss out on sharing your ideas completely.”

Example 3: Personal Growth

Context: A friend is avoiding trying new activities because they fear looking foolish.

Conversation:
Friend: “I won’t join that dance class; I might look silly.”
You: “Sometimes you just have to go for it. Better to blush once when you try something new than to live with regret over never having tried at all—beter één keer rood dan honderd keer bleek.”


Conclusion

“Beter één keer rood dan honderd keer bleek” is a powerful Dutch proverb that champions the courage to face embarrassing or challenging moments head-on rather than being trapped by perpetual fear or anxiety. It reminds us that growth and personal development often require us to endure temporary discomfort in exchange for long-lasting freedom and happiness. Embracing this mindset can transform our approach to risks, encourage us to take bold steps, and help us cultivate resilience and authenticity in our everyday lives.

By internalizing this advice, we can learn to appreciate the richness of our human experiences, understanding that sometimes a moment of vulnerability is a small price to pay for a lifetime of living fully and honestly.


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