In Buddhism, the foundation of understanding life begins with the Four Noble Truths, two of which address the universal experience of dissatisfaction:
- Life is unsatisfactory (dukkha).
- The reason life is unsatisfactory is because we believe it is a way that it is not.
These teachings reveal the roots of human frustration and point us toward liberation. However, many of us get caught up in these first two ideas, struggling to fully grasp their implications. A relatable analogy can help illuminate this concept: imagine being stuck in LA traffic. You know traffic in Los Angeles is an inevitability, yet you find yourself inexplicably angry, as if this were the one day it shouldn’t exist.
This article explores why we struggle with the unsatisfactory nature of life, how our false perceptions fuel dissatisfaction, and how Buddhist teachings offer a way to navigate these challenges.
1. Life Is Unsatisfactory
The first Noble Truth, often summarized as “life is suffering,” is better understood as “life is unsatisfactory.” This doesn’t mean life is always misery, but that life inherently contains impermanence, unpredictability, and discomfort. Even moments of joy are fleeting, often followed by longing for more or fear of loss.
The Traffic Analogy:
Traffic in Los Angeles is a fact of life—something anyone familiar with the city expects. Yet, in the moment, frustration arises. Why? Because there’s an underlying assumption: “Today should be different.” This disconnect between reality (traffic is inevitable) and expectation (traffic shouldn’t be this bad today) creates tension and dissatisfaction.
In the same way, life’s challenges—illness, aging, change, or unmet desires—are part of the human experience. When we resist these realities, hoping for something different, we experience suffering.
2. Misunderstanding Reality Fuels Dissatisfaction
The second Noble Truth attributes dissatisfaction to attachment or craving—the belief that life should conform to our desires or expectations. We suffer not because life is inherently bad, but because we refuse to see it for what it is.
The Traffic Analogy Continued:
If you were to accept that LA traffic is unavoidable, the frustration would dissipate. But instead, there’s often an internal narrative: “Why is this happening? It shouldn’t be this way.” This disconnect between expectation and reality fuels anger and stress, even though the traffic remains unchanged.
Similarly, much of life’s dissatisfaction comes from clinging to how we think things should be:
- Expecting relationships to remain static when they naturally evolve.
- Believing success will bring lasting happiness, only to find new desires arise.
- Resisting change, despite its inevitability.
3. Why We Get Caught Up in These Two Ideas
The first two Noble Truths feel uncomfortable because they challenge our deeply ingrained beliefs. We are conditioned to think that if we plan well, work hard, or make the right choices, life will go according to our expectations. But reality is far more complex and unpredictable.
The Core Struggle:
- Denial of Impermanence: We want good things to last forever and bad things to go away quickly, ignoring that both are transient.
- Resistance to Reality: Instead of accepting “what is,” we fight against it, hoping to impose our desires on a world that doesn’t operate according to them.
The traffic analogy highlights this perfectly: the moment you let go of the belief that today will be different, the frustration softens. The traffic doesn’t change, but your relationship to it does.
4. The Buddhist Path to Freedom
The first two Noble Truths describe the problem; the remaining truths outline the solution. Buddhism teaches that by seeing reality clearly and letting go of attachments, we can transcend dissatisfaction and find peace.
Shifting Perspective:
- Accept Reality as It Is:
Like traffic in LA, certain aspects of life are unavoidable. Accepting them reduces unnecessary frustration. - Let Go of Unrealistic Expectations:
Recognize that clinging to “how things should be” creates suffering. By releasing these attachments, you can respond to challenges with equanimity. - Practice Mindfulness:
Observing your thoughts and emotions without judgment helps you see how attachment and resistance arise. Mindfulness allows you to pause and choose a more skillful response. - Embrace Impermanence:
Understand that everything is transient—joy, pain, success, failure. Instead of fearing change, appreciate the present moment as it is.
5. A Practical Approach: The Traffic Example
Imagine yourself in LA traffic again, but this time with a Buddhist perspective:
- Acknowledge Reality: Accept that traffic is part of LA life. It’s not “good” or “bad”; it just is.
- Let Go of Expectations: Stop wishing for today to be different and focus on what you can control (e.g., listening to music, practicing gratitude, or observing your surroundings).
- Stay Present: Notice your breath, the sound of cars, or the sunlight reflecting off windows. By grounding yourself in the moment, frustration subsides.
The traffic remains unchanged, but your experience of it transforms.
Conclusion: The Freedom in Acceptance
The first two ideas in Buddhism—that life is unsatisfactory and that misunderstanding reality fuels this dissatisfaction—are not meant to discourage us. Instead, they are an invitation to shift how we relate to the world. By accepting life as it is and letting go of false expectations, we can find peace amidst chaos.
Life, like traffic in LA, is unpredictable and often inconvenient. But when we stop resisting its reality, we free ourselves from unnecessary suffering. In this way, the teachings of Buddhism offer a practical guide not just for enduring life, but for embracing it fully—just as it is.