The Nine Satanic Statements are a cornerstone of LaVeyan Satanism, a philosophical and religious belief system founded by Anton LaVey in 1966 with the establishment of the Church of Satan. These statements, laid out in LaVey’s Satanic Bible (published in 1969), serve as a manifesto that articulates the core values and principles of this form of Satanism. They emphasize individualism, self-gratification, and personal power over spiritual or religious subjugation, rejecting traditional religious morality in favor of rational self-interest.

Let’s explore the Nine Satanic Statements in detail and unpack the philosophy they represent.

1. Satan represents indulgence instead of abstinence!

The first statement encourages living life to the fullest by indulging in earthly pleasures rather than practicing self-denial. This is a rejection of asceticism found in many religions, which often promote restraint and renunciation of bodily pleasures. LaVeyan Satanism embraces the idea that enjoying life’s pleasures is natural and essential for personal fulfillment.

2. Satan represents vital existence instead of spiritual pipe dreams!

LaVey encourages a focus on living vibrantly and fully in the here and now, rather than pursuing intangible or unattainable spiritual ideals. In this view, spiritual pursuits often distract from real-world experiences and personal growth.

3. Satan represents undefiled wisdom instead of hypocritical self-deceit!

This statement condemns the hypocrisy often found in religious institutions, which may preach humility, self-denial, or other virtues that are not genuinely practiced. It champions knowledge, critical thinking, and self-awareness over blindly following dogma or socially imposed beliefs.

4. Satan represents kindness to those who deserve it instead of love wasted on ingrates!

LaVeyan Satanism promotes the idea of selective kindness, giving respect and generosity to those who are worthy, rather than wasting it on those who are ungrateful or manipulative. It opposes the idea of unconditional love for all, encouraging fairness in relationships based on merit and reciprocity.

5. Satan represents vengeance instead of turning the other cheek!

Rejecting the Christian idea of forgiveness without consequence, this statement advocates for justice and retaliation when wronged. LaVeyan Satanists believe that personal responsibility includes holding others accountable and not allowing oneself to be victimized repeatedly.

6. Satan represents responsibility to the responsible instead of concern for psychic vampires!

This emphasizes personal responsibility and self-care, warning against people LaVey called “psychic vampires,” or individuals who drain others of energy, time, and resources. The statement encourages setting boundaries and avoiding relationships with people who take more than they give.

7. Satan represents man as just another animal, sometimes better, more often worse than those that walk on all fours, who, because of his “divine spiritual and intellectual development,” has become the most vicious animal of all!

LaVeyan Satanism rejects the idea that humans are inherently superior to animals due to their spiritual or intellectual capacities. It recognizes humanity’s primal instincts and capacity for cruelty, arguing that humans are ultimately animals governed by nature.

8. Satan represents all of the so-called sins, as they all lead to physical, mental, or emotional gratification!

In this statement, the “sins” referenced are not moral wrongs, but rather natural human desires such as lust, pride, and envy. LaVeyan Satanism embraces these desires as essential to personal fulfillment, rejecting the idea that these impulses should be suppressed or punished.

9. Satan has been the best friend the Church has ever had, as He has kept it in business all these years!

This final statement critiques the role of Satan in Christian theology, arguing that the concept of Satan has been essential for religious institutions to maintain power. By portraying Satan as the ultimate enemy, the Church sustains its control over believers through fear. LaVeyan Satanism, by contrast, sees Satan as a symbol of rebellion against such control.

Conclusion

The Nine Satanic Statements lay the foundation for a philosophy that emphasizes self-empowerment, rationality, and living authentically. In LaVeyan Satanism, Satan is not worshipped as a literal being, but rather embraced as a symbol of individualism, critical thinking, and freedom from traditional religious and societal constraints. These statements advocate for indulgence, personal responsibility, and challenging hypocrisy—key tenets that define the worldview of LaVeyan Satanists.

For those exploring Satanism or seeking to understand its principles, the Nine Satanic Statements offer a clear guide to the values promoted by the Church of Satan, emphasizing self-empowerment and rejecting conventional morality in favor of personal freedom.