Gaslighting, a term derived from the 1938 play “Gas Light” by Patrick Hamilton, typically refers to the psychological manipulation of making someone doubt their own perceptions, memories, or sanity. However, there exists a subtler, yet equally damaging form of gaslighting – positive gaslighting – wherein individuals are fed false affirmations about their qualities or abilities in an attempt to influence their behavior or self-perception.

At first glance, positive gaslighting may appear benign, even well-intentioned. After all, what harm could come from telling someone they possess admirable qualities or skills? But beneath the surface lies a dangerous precedent – one that undermines authenticity, fosters dependency, and erodes trust.

Positive gaslighting operates under the guise of empowerment, offering individuals a distorted reflection of themselves that may not align with reality. Whether it’s praising someone for intelligence they do not possess, talent they have yet to develop, or virtues they have not demonstrated, positive gaslighting creates an illusion of competency or worthiness that can lead to a myriad of detrimental outcomes.

First and foremost, positive gaslighting fosters a culture of delusion rather than genuine self-improvement. By inflating someone’s ego with unwarranted praise or accolades, we hinder their ability to recognize their true strengths and weaknesses. Instead of fostering a growth mindset rooted in self-awareness and resilience, positive gaslighting promotes a sense of entitlement and complacency, ultimately stunting personal and professional development.

Moreover, positive gaslighting can breed insecurity and self-doubt in the long run. When individuals internalize false affirmations about themselves, they may develop a fragile sense of self-esteem that is contingent upon external validation. As a result, they may become hypersensitive to criticism or rejection, fearing that their inflated self-image will be shattered if confronted with the truth.

Furthermore, positive gaslighting undermines trust and authenticity in relationships. When we perpetuate false narratives about others, we betray their trust and integrity, creating a facade of connection that is built on deceit rather than genuine understanding. Over time, this erodes the foundation of trust and mutual respect, leaving behind a hollow shell of superficiality.

So, how do we combat positive gaslighting and cultivate a culture of authenticity and empowerment instead?

First and foremost, we must prioritize honesty and transparency in our interactions with others. Rather than resorting to empty praise or flattery, we should offer constructive feedback and genuine encouragement rooted in reality. By acknowledging both strengths and areas for growth, we empower individuals to embrace their authentic selves and strive for genuine self-improvement.

Furthermore, we must cultivate a culture of self-awareness and introspection, encouraging individuals to develop a realistic understanding of their strengths, weaknesses, and aspirations. Through reflection and self-examination, individuals can cultivate a sense of agency and resilience that transcends external validation.

Ultimately, positive gaslighting may offer a fleeting sense of empowerment, but it comes at a steep cost – the erosion of authenticity, trust, and personal growth. Instead of feeding into the illusion of perfection, let us embrace the messy, imperfect beauty of our humanity, and empower one another to strive for genuine self-discovery and growth.