Your attention is a budget. Spend it well or you will feel poor even on quiet days. The goal is not to ignore life. The goal is to stop feeding thoughts that never pay you back.
What usually is not worth it
- Imaginary arguments that you will never have
- Speculation about motives when you already have enough facts to act
- Scorekeeping in relationships where generosity should be given freely or not at all
- Perfecting trivial choices like fonts, snack flavors, or which row to park in
- Endless news refresh that changes nothing about today’s actions
- Other people’s judgments from those who do not share your values
- Replaying mistakes after you have taken the next useful step
A quick test for any thought
Ask five questions. If you get two or more no answers, drop it.
- Does thinking about this change my next action today?
- Will this still matter in one month?
- Do I control at least one lever that can improve it?
- Is the cost of thinking about it smaller than the likely benefit?
- Would I advise a friend to keep thinking about this?
Three default moves that save your headspace
- Decide now, limit later
If the stakes are low, decide in one minute. Add a limit to protect the future. Example: choose the first acceptable option and cap the spend or time. - Act once, then schedule
Do one concrete step, then put the next review on your calendar. Thinking without scheduling invites rumination. - Replace thought with template
Use prewritten scripts for recurring hassles so you do not re-litigate them each time.
Scripts for common drains
- Guilt over saying no
“Thanks for asking. I am at capacity and will pass.” - Fishing for reaction online
“I do not respond to bait. Mute and move on.” - Circular debates
“We see this differently. I am comfortable leaving it there.” - Nitpicks after a decision
“The choice is made. If new facts appear, we will revisit.”
Boundaries that reduce mental noise
- Time boxes for problem solving
Fifteen minutes to outline options, then choose. - Information diet
One source you trust, one check per day, then off. - Choice architecture
Pre-select a default breakfast, workout, and work start. Rituals beat daily debates. - Relationship filters
High friction with low reward gets less access. Return energy to those who return it to you.
Reframe that frees you
- Not every thought is your job
Curiosity is fine. Custody is not. You can notice and release. - Silence is an action
Choosing not to engage is still a move. - Good enough is a strategy
Perfect is often a delay tactic. Ship, then improve later.
A tiny practice to build the habit
- Carry a small note in your phone titled Not Worth It.
- When you catch a low yield thought, write a six word description of it.
- Add one next action or write None, then close the note.
- Review the list weekly. If an item keeps returning, design a boundary or a template for it.
When to think more, not less
Some worries are signals, not noise. Think deeply when the issue involves safety, legal obligations, key values, or long term commitments. Use the same five question test, and if most answers are yes, give it full focus.
The payoff
Less rumination gives you more room for real work, real rest, and real relationships. The world does not get quieter by itself. You quiet it by refusing to donate attention to what does not deserve it.