Saying “please” and “thank you” may seem like small acts, but they carry significant weight in social, professional, and personal environments. These phrases are basic expressions of respect, humility, and appreciation. Modeling them well means turning them into habits that others can witness, adopt, and trust.
What It Means to Model This Behavior
To model saying “please” and “thank you” means consistently using them in your communication—spoken or written—without exception or hierarchy. It is about showing that every interaction, no matter how routine or expected, is still worthy of courtesy.
This behavior teaches that kindness does not need a reason. It sends a message that others are valued, that you recognize their efforts or willingness, and that respect isn’t conditional on status or mood.
Why It Matters
Politeness builds trust, diffuses tension, and encourages collaboration. When you thank someone for something they do every day, they feel seen. When you say please, you acknowledge that others have autonomy. These words are tiny signals that you are aware of the relationship, not just the transaction.
In modeling this behavior, you are setting a tone that others often subconsciously match. A leader who always says please and thank you inspires teams to follow suit. A parent who uses them consistently raises children who mirror them.
Good Examples
- At work: “Could you please send me the file before noon?” rather than “Send me the file.”
- With servers or staff: “Thank you for refilling my water,” even if it’s part of their job.
- At home: “Please help me with the dishes” instead of “Do the dishes.”
- In emails: Opening or closing with “please” or “thank you” even in short notes.
Bad Examples
- Skipping courtesy because of familiarity: “Give me that” to a sibling, child, or partner.
- Only using these words when you want something or feel like you have to.
- Being sarcastic: “Oh, thanks a lot” when actually angry.
- Using “please” or “thank you” in a robotic or dismissive tone.
In each of these, the core message of respect is lost. The words become hollow if not paired with sincerity and consistency.
How to Model It Well
- Use them with everyone: Don’t reserve politeness for strangers or superiors. Use them with children, family, coworkers, and servers alike.
- Be consistent: Even when frustrated or in a rush, especially then, use “please” and “thank you.”
- Be sincere: Match tone and body language to your words.
- Acknowledge effort: Say thank you for things others could have skipped or done with less care.
Final Thought
“Please” and “thank you” are not just manners. They are signals of how you see others. By modeling this behavior well, you reinforce a culture of mutual respect that quietly improves every interaction you’re part of.
