Time is the one thing everyone has in equal supply each day, but how it’s spent and who spends it on you is not equal. Every conversation, request, question, or hesitation can pull from someone else’s time bank. Often, we don’t realize how easily we occupy time that isn’t ours. It’s not always out of rudeness or selfishness. Sometimes, it’s habit. Sometimes, it’s need. But either way, taking up people’s time has consequences.

You take up people’s time when you repeat yourself without adding anything new. When you send messages that could’ve waited, meetings that didn’t need to happen, or stories with no real point. You take up their time when you ask questions you could have answered yourself, or ask for input you don’t intend to use. You do it when you speak without listening, vent without boundaries, or expect others to solve problems you haven’t tried to solve on your own.

People’s attention is a finite resource. When you ask for it, they’re giving you something they’ll never get back. This doesn’t mean you can’t share your life or lean on others when it matters. It means you should do so with awareness. There’s a difference between being present and being draining. Between contributing to connection and consuming it.

Time-wasting often hides in the space between clarity and confusion. When you’re vague, others spend time deciphering you. When you’re indirect, they spend energy guessing your meaning. When you delay decisions, they wait. When you’re unprepared, they compensate. In each of these cases, you’re withdrawing from someone else’s schedule, often without even noticing the cost.

It’s not about rushing or being transactional. It’s about respect. Respect shows up in preparation. It shows up in brevity. It shows up in knowing when to speak and when to listen. It’s asking yourself before you act: does this need to be said, and does it need to be said now?

You take up people’s time most noticeably when you’re unaware of how much you’re asking. But you also give people time back when you’re concise, clear, decisive, and mindful. Being thoughtful with time is one of the most powerful ways to build trust. It shows you value their life as much as your own.

Everyone is busy. Everyone is tired. The more you respect time — yours and theirs — the more room there is for real connection. Not longer conversations, but better ones. Not more meetings, but meaningful ones. The less time you take up unnecessarily, the more time you have for what actually matters.