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December 5, 2025

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Why someone might not appear happy on the outside but be happy on the inside

People may not appear happy on the outside while being happy on the inside for various reasons: In essence, the…
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Start with clear definitions

  • Capability means you can produce a result that meets a stated standard, on demand, under realistic conditions.
  • Not capable yet means you cannot meet that standard today, but you could with learning, practice, resources, or time.
  • Not capable under current constraints means the barrier is structural, ethical, legal, medical, or time bound. Changing the constraint, not more effort, is what would be required.

The five lenses that reveal capability

  1. Skill: do you know how to do the steps with correct form and timing.
  2. Knowledge: do you understand the principles and choices behind the steps.
  3. Resources: do you have the tools, time, money, support, and data required.
  4. Environment: is the setting helping or blocking you, such as access, noise, safety, rules.
  5. State: do your current energy, health, stress, and motivation allow reliable performance.

If three or more lenses are weak, expect not capable yet. If one lens is weak, you are often capable with a small fix.

The capability test in seven steps

  1. Define a standard: one sentence that anyone can verify. Example: deliver a 5 minute talk that keeps at least 8 of 10 listeners engaged enough to answer a question about it.
  2. Set a pass line: minimum acceptable quality. Example: at least 80 percent of listeners answer correctly.
  3. Run a baseline: attempt once, no special prep. Record the result.
  4. Audit constraints: list what limited you under the five lenses. Mark which items you can change in a week, a month, or not at all.
  5. Micro upgrade: apply one fix per lens that is changeable. Keep the fixes tiny, such as a checklist, a template, a timer, or 30 minutes of practice.
  6. Retest three times on different days. Capability is consistency. If you pass the line 3 out of 3, call yourself capable.
  7. Decide the path: pass means scale up. Two or more fails means choose training, resources, or a different goal for now.

Quick scoring rubric

Rate 0 to 4 on each lens.
0 means missing, 2 means partial, 4 means solid.
Add the five numbers for a Capability Score out of 20.

  • 17 to 20: capable now
  • 13 to 16: nearly capable, fix 1 to 2 items
  • 9 to 12: not capable yet, plan a sprint
  • 0 to 8: choose a different approach or extend your timeline

Red and green flags

Green flags: you can explain the steps, you hit the pass line on three separate days, errors are rare and small, recovery from mistakes is quick, your effort feels sustainable.
Red flags: repeated misses after structured practice, safety issues, you cannot follow a written checklist, you depend on resources you do not control, progress stalls for two weeks despite feedback.

Examples across life

Running a 5K under 30 minutes

  • Standard: 5K in 29:59 or better on a measured course.
  • Baseline: 34:10.
  • Fixes: run walk plan three times weekly, pace watch, sleep target.
  • Retests: 32:40, 31:05, 29:55.
  • Verdict: capable now.

Building a basic web app

  • Standard: a working CRUD app with auth, deployed, passing 5 manual tests.
  • Baseline: local prototype only.
  • Fixes: follow a scaffold tutorial, use a hosted database, adopt a test checklist.
  • Retests: deploy passes 3 of 5, then 4 of 5, then 5 of 5.
  • Verdict: capable now, but only within a template stack.

Leading a sales call

  • Standard: run a 30 minute discovery call that surfaces budget, timeline, and next step, confirmed in writing.
  • Baseline: missed budget details.
  • Fixes: question script, call recording, mentor review.
  • Retests: two calls meet all criteria, one does not.
  • Verdict: nearly capable, keep rehearsing budget questions.

Conversational fluency in a new language

  • Standard: 10 minute conversation with a native speaker on daily topics, fewer than five stalls, understood without switching to your native tongue.
  • Baseline: frequent stalls.
  • Fixes: daily 15 minute speaking drills, phrase bank, tutor twice weekly.
  • Retests after four weeks: pass line achieved.
  • Verdict: capable with warm up and familiar topics.

Bench press 225 pounds

  • Standard: a single rep to full lockout with a spotter, legal form.
  • Baseline: 205 single, technique breaks.
  • Fixes: 12 week plan, technique coaching, calories and protein, sleep.
  • Retests at weeks 4, 8, 12: 215, 225, 230.
  • Verdict: capable now within training cycles.

Distinguish capability from capacity

  • Capability answers can I do this.
  • Capacity answers how much can I do and how often.
    You might be capable of a great presentation once, but not have capacity to do five in a week without quality drop.

Decide if the barrier is learnable or structural

  • Learnable: skills, knowledge, habits, small tools.
  • Structural: legal requirements, health limits, physical dimensions, license or certification, budget you cannot obtain, deadlines that are too soon.
    Structural barriers require a new plan, partnership, or a different goal.

A 14 day capability sprint

Days 1 to 2: define the standard and the pass line, gather a checklist.
Days 3 to 5: baseline and lens audit.
Days 6 to 10: micro upgrades and two practice attempts.
Days 11 to 13: two formal retests under realistic conditions.
Day 14: decide keep, train, or pivot.

Questions that clarify the truth fast

  • What exact outcome would prove I can do this.
  • What is the smallest version of that outcome I can test this week.
  • Which single constraint hurts me most and how can I change it in 7 days.
  • What would a skilled person do differently on the same task.
  • If I had to repeat this on three different days, what would break first.

Turning not capable into capable

  1. Decompose: break the task into sub skills and practice them in isolation.
  2. Deliberate practice: high repetition, immediate feedback, short sessions.
  3. Templates and checklists: reduce cognitive load and error rates.
  4. Tight feedback loop: record, review, correct, retest.
  5. Progressive load: increase difficulty only after you pass the current level consistently.
  6. Environment design: remove friction, add cues, secure resources in advance.

Bottom line

State a clear standard, test under real conditions, fix the smallest limiting factors, and retest for consistency. If you pass the line three times, you are capable. If you do not, choose training, resources, or a different route. Capability becomes obvious when the result is repeatable, verifiable, and safe.


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