Every interaction we have with others leaves an impact, whether small or profound. Through words, actions, and attitudes, we either lift people up or bring them down. The ability to influence others is a powerful responsibility—one that can shape confidence, self-worth, and motivation in both personal and professional settings.

Understanding how to make less of people (undermine them) and how to make more of people (empower them) provides clarity on the kind of influence we have on those around us. By becoming intentional about uplifting rather than diminishing, we can contribute to healthier relationships, stronger teams, and a more positive environment.

How to Make Less of People

Bringing people down can be done subtly or overtly. These actions can lower confidence, create tension, and erode trust.

1. Dismissiveness and Ignoring

• Not acknowledging someone’s presence, ideas, or contributions.
• Interrupting or speaking over them in conversations.
• Failing to recognize their opinions as valuable.

2. Criticism Without Constructiveness

• Pointing out flaws without offering ways to improve.
• Using condescending tones or belittling remarks.
• Focusing solely on what is wrong rather than what is right.

3. Taking Credit for Others’ Efforts

• Passing off someone else’s work as your own.
• Failing to acknowledge contributions in group projects.
• Downplaying another person’s role in a success.

4. Undermining Confidence

• Constantly correcting small errors in an exaggerated way.
• Questioning someone’s competence unnecessarily.
• Over-explaining as if they are incapable of understanding on their own.

5. Excluding and Isolating

• Leaving people out of important conversations or decisions.
• Making them feel like an outsider in a group.
• Failing to invite them to professional or social opportunities.

6. Public Embarrassment

• Calling out mistakes in front of others instead of addressing them privately.
• Using sarcasm or “jokes” that undermine a person’s credibility.
• Drawing attention to personal flaws rather than professional contributions.

7. Micromanaging and Controlling

• Not allowing people the freedom to make their own decisions.
• Constantly checking their work as if expecting failure.
• Offering unsolicited advice in a way that suggests they are incapable.

How to Make More of People

Lifting others up strengthens relationships, improves morale, and encourages growth. Small, intentional actions can have lasting effects on someone’s confidence and motivation.

1. Active Listening and Acknowledgment

• Give people your full attention when they speak.
• Validate their ideas by asking follow-up questions.
• Recognize their input in discussions.

2. Offering Constructive Support

• Provide feedback that helps people grow, rather than discourages them.
• Use encouraging language: “Here’s a way you can improve,” instead of “You did this all wrong.”
• Balance critique with recognition of strengths.

3. Giving Credit Where It’s Due

• Acknowledge the work of others publicly when appropriate.
• Ensure team contributions are recognized fairly.
• Advocate for colleagues or friends when they deserve opportunities.

4. Encouraging Confidence

• Express belief in someone’s abilities, even when they doubt themselves.
• Let people take ownership of their projects without unnecessary interference.
• Support their decisions rather than second-guessing them.

5. Including and Inviting

• Make an effort to include people in group activities and discussions.
• Invite those who may feel overlooked into professional and social settings.
• Help create opportunities for collaboration.

6. Respecting Autonomy

• Allow people the space to make their own choices.
• Trust in their ability to handle responsibilities.
• Offer support when asked rather than assuming they need help.

7. Celebrating Successes

• Acknowledge achievements, no matter how small.
• Celebrate progress rather than just results.
• Encourage people to recognize their own growth.

Why This Matters

The way we interact with others has long-term effects. People who feel valued and respected are more likely to:

• Take initiative and contribute meaningfully.
• Develop confidence in their abilities.
• Support and uplift others in return.

On the other hand, people who are constantly made less of may:

• Lose confidence and withdraw.
• Stop taking risks or pursuing new challenges.
• Develop resentment toward those who diminish them.

The power of influence is real, and whether we choose to build or diminish others determines the kind of environment we create in our personal and professional lives.

Conclusion

Every interaction presents a choice: to make more of people by recognizing their worth and potential, or to make less of them by diminishing their contributions and confidence. It takes little effort to lift someone up, but the impact of doing so can last a lifetime.

Choosing to encourage, include, and support others creates a cycle of positivity that extends beyond individuals, shaping stronger relationships, workplaces, and communities. The question to ask in every interaction is simple: Am I building someone up or breaking them down?