Feelings are complex. They shape decisions, influence actions, and define how people experience the world. But not all feelings are the same. Some are considered feelings, formed by rational thought, reflection, and external influence, while others are true feelings, arising from deep instincts, raw emotion, and internal truth.

Understanding the difference between the two is essential for self-awareness, decision-making, and emotional clarity. Acting on considered feelings can lead to calculated, rational choices, while acting on true feelings can lead to authenticity, passion, and deeper connections. The challenge is knowing when to trust each one.

What Are Considered Feelings?

Considered feelings are thought-driven emotions. They do not come purely from instinct but are shaped by external factors, logic, and self-analysis.

Characteristics of Considered Feelings:

• They develop over time rather than instantly.
• They are influenced by society, expectations, and past experiences.
• They are often filtered through logic and reasoning.
• They may be adjusted based on new information.

Examples of Considered Feelings:

• A person choosing to forgive someone after reflecting on the situation.
• Someone feeling excited about an opportunity after weighing its pros and cons.
• A person staying in a relationship because they logically believe it is the right choice, even if they have doubts.

Considered feelings help people make rational decisions, but they can also suppress deeper truths if they are based on what is expected rather than what is genuinely felt.

What Are True Feelings?

True feelings are immediate, instinctive, and deeply personal. They arise without calculation or external influence, reflecting an individual’s raw emotional state.

Characteristics of True Feelings:

• They are instant—they emerge naturally in the moment.
• They are often strong and undeniable.
• They are not filtered by logic or social expectations.
• They can be irrational but deeply meaningful.

Examples of True Feelings:

• Feeling an immediate connection with someone upon first meeting them.
• Experiencing deep anger or sadness without being able to explain why.
• Feeling the urge to leave a situation without logically knowing the reason.

True feelings are powerful because they reflect genuine emotion, but they can also be misleading if acted upon without reflection.

When to Trust Considered Feelings vs. True Feelings

Both considered feelings and true feelings serve a purpose, but knowing when to rely on each is key to making balanced decisions.

Trust Considered Feelings When:

A long-term decision is needed. – Considered feelings help ensure logical, well-thought-out choices.
Emotions are clouded by stress or anger. – Taking time to reflect prevents rash decisions.
Other people’s perspectives matter. – Considered feelings allow rational compromise and empathy.

Example: Choosing a career path requires considered feelings because success depends on long-term planning, not just momentary excitement.

Trust True Feelings When:

A situation requires instinct. – True feelings can guide immediate, gut-driven choices.
Authenticity is more important than logic. – If something feels wrong despite making sense, it often is.
Passion or deep emotional alignment is needed. – True feelings reveal what truly excites or fulfills a person.

Example: Choosing a life partner should involve true feelings because relationships require deep emotional connection, not just logical compatibility.

The Danger of Ignoring One Over the Other

Ignoring Considered Feelings:

• Leads to reckless decisions based purely on emotion.
• Results in regret when short-term desires outweigh long-term needs.
• Causes difficulty in learning from past experiences.

Example: Quitting a job in a moment of frustration without thinking about future consequences.

Ignoring True Feelings:

• Creates emotional suppression and internal conflict.
• Leads to a life dictated by expectations rather than personal truth.
• Results in feeling unfulfilled despite making “rational” choices.

Example: Staying in a job or relationship that looks good on paper but feels wrong deep inside.

How to Balance Considered Feelings and True Feelings

Step 1: Recognize True Feelings First – Before rationalizing, allow yourself to feel emotions as they are.
Step 2: Analyze the Source – Ask: Is this feeling coming from instinct, fear, or external pressure?
Step 3: Apply Considered Reflection – Think about long-term consequences, past experiences, and logical factors.
Step 4: Decide Which to Prioritize – Sometimes, true feelings matter most; other times, considered wisdom should lead.

Example: If an opportunity arises, your true feelings might be excitement. Your considered feelings might weigh risks and responsibilities. The best choice integrates both emotional passion and practical thinking.

Final Thoughts

The difference between considered feelings and true feelings is the difference between what you think you should feel and what you actually feel.

• True feelings are raw, instinctive, and immediate.
• Considered feelings are shaped by thought, experience, and logic.

Both are valuable, but relying only on one leads to imbalance. A meaningful life requires listening to true feelings while applying considered wisdom to make choices that are both authentic and sustainable.