Independence is often spoken about as a milestone — a point where you finally take control of your life, make decisions with confidence, and carry your own weight. But the journey to self-reliance does not begin with strength. It begins with support. Before you learn to stand on your own two feet, you will always have crutches — people, habits, beliefs, or systems that help you stay upright while you’re still figuring out how.

This is not a weakness. It’s part of growth. Just like someone recovering from an injury needs physical crutches to regain balance, emotional or mental development often requires something to lean on. These crutches can take many forms: approval from others, routines that offer stability, borrowed confidence, or guidance from authority figures. They hold you up while you’re still unstable.

Crutches Are Not the Problem

Relying on something doesn’t mean you’re broken. In fact, it means you’re trying to move forward. Crutches serve a purpose. They let you progress when standing on your own feels impossible. They protect you from collapse and give you time to heal, learn, or adjust. Many people confuse the presence of support with failure. But needing help in transition is not failure — it is preparation.

The issue arises when you mistake the crutch for the cure. What is meant to be temporary becomes permanent. You hold on too long. You stop trying to walk without it. The longer you depend on something without challenging your limits, the harder it becomes to grow beyond it.

Signs You’re Still Using Crutches

• You need constant validation to make decisions.
• You avoid change unless someone else initiates it.
• You repeat the same routines not because they help, but because they prevent discomfort.
• You defer responsibility by blaming systems, people, or the past.
• You fear being alone with your thoughts or choices.

These aren’t flaws. They’re signals that you’re not yet fully on your own feet — and that’s okay, as long as you’re working toward standing.

Learning to Stand Means Risking the Fall

Eventually, growth demands risk. Standing on your own requires discomfort, uncertainty, and the possibility of failure. You will wobble. You may fall. But the point isn’t to avoid falling forever. It’s to become someone who can get up without needing to be lifted every time.

The transition away from crutches doesn’t have to be dramatic. It can be small: making your own decisions, taking responsibility for your time, recognizing your patterns, or confronting truths you used to avoid. Every step you take without leaning fully on something else strengthens your capacity.

Freedom Comes with Balance

True independence isn’t just about surviving alone. It’s about knowing when to accept support without becoming dependent on it. It’s about choosing from a place of clarity rather than compulsion. Standing on your own two feet means knowing who you are when no one is holding you up — and choosing your direction even when it’s hard.

Conclusion

Before you learn to stand, you will need something to lean on. That is not shameful — it’s necessary. But growth asks that you eventually let go. That you stop outsourcing your strength. That you fall, learn, and rise on your own terms. Because the moment you stop depending on crutches, even when it’s uncomfortable, is the moment you begin to truly walk. And once you learn to stand without being held, the world changes from something you must survive into something you can shape.