There’s a familiar saying, often whispered in the wake of a particularly egregious encounter: “assholes live forever.” It’s the kind of expression that suggests a grim inevitability, as if the world has an uncanny knack for preserving the people who seem most deserving of being forgotten. But behind this cynical phrase lies a deeper reflection on human behavior, the nature of toxic personalities, and perhaps most troubling, the strange persistence of people who make life harder for those around them.

So why, exactly, does it feel like assholes—those who manipulate, belittle, and hurt others—seem to stick around long after their negativity should have faded? What does it say about society that these individuals often thrive in environments that seem to reward ruthlessness over empathy? And what can we learn from the fact that the “assholes” in our lives often seem so indestructible?

1. The Cult of Personality: Why We Can’t Forget Them

First, let’s clarify: not all people who come across as rude or self-centered are necessarily “assholes.” The term is often used to describe those who display consistent, intentional cruelty or disregard for others. But there’s something about the asshole archetype that makes them memorable. These people tend to leave a lasting impression because they disrupt the emotional equilibrium of those around them.

Assholes live forever because their behavior is so jarring and disruptive. The aggressive boss, the condescending coworker, the dismissive partner—these individuals create an emotional residue that doesn’t simply fade away. They imprint on your psyche in ways that more neutral or even pleasant people do not. The emotional fallout from their actions becomes etched in memory, while positive interactions—by comparison—tend to be more fleeting. It’s this psychological phenomenon that explains why we often carry the emotional weight of toxic personalities long after they’ve left our lives.

2. Why They Seem to Thrive: Toxic Personalities and Reward Systems

Toxic people tend to prosper in environments where power dynamics favor dominance over cooperation. In workplaces, for example, the obnoxious, self-serving individual might get ahead through aggressive self-promotion, undermining others, or exploiting the weaknesses of their colleagues. This phenomenon isn’t just limited to the corporate world—it can be found in politics, social groups, and even families.

Toxic individuals often understand how to exploit systems for their benefit. They use charm, manipulation, and fear to maintain power or influence. In many cases, their personal success is tied to their ability to outwit, outlast, or overpower others. Ironically, the more they succeed, the more they become entrenched in our collective consciousness as formidable—sometimes invincible—figures.

This is not just about personal gain; it’s also about how society or systems inadvertently reward bad behavior. In a meritocratic world, for instance, people who can speak louder, take up more space, and bulldoze over their competitors often rise to the top. Whether it’s an office environment, a political system, or a social setting, those who behave like assholes frequently walk away with the lion’s share of success.

3. The Appeal of the “Unpunished” Asshole

One of the reasons assholes seem to live forever is the idea that they “get away with it.” In many cases, they don’t face immediate or tangible consequences for their actions. They may burn bridges, alienate friends, or damage professional relationships, but they often seem to do just fine in the end. They may find a new job, a new social circle, or simply move on to the next phase of their life without having to answer for their misdeeds.

This lack of accountability can be maddening for those who are more empathetic or conscientious. It reinforces the frustrating reality that, sometimes, bad behavior is not only tolerated but rewarded. The asshole may even gain a reputation as “tough,” “fearless,” or “decisive,” traits that are valued in environments where strength is equated with leadership. Over time, this can create a warped sense of success—one that perpetuates the notion that assholes live forever, unaffected by the harm they cause.

4. The Social Media Amplification Effect

In today’s world, the persistence of assholes has a new dimension thanks to the advent of social media. With online platforms giving people the opportunity to create public personas, toxic behavior can go viral. The “asshole” has a built-in audience in the form of followers, subscribers, and fans who either admire their boldness or simply revel in the drama they create.

This public amplification can make it seem like the asshole is thriving on a global scale, not just in the local communities where their toxic behavior originally played out. A person who might have been a local nuisance can now garner millions of views, likes, and support for their caustic opinions or controversial actions. In a world where visibility equals relevance, the loudest, most abrasive voices often rise to the top. Whether they’re politicians, influencers, or public figures, many of today’s most prominent individuals fit the mold of the “asshole” who thrives on the attention their provocations bring.

5. What Does This Teach Us?

So, what can we learn from the unfortunate truth that assholes seem to live forever? First, it highlights the importance of creating systems of accountability—whether personal or institutional—that don’t just reward people for their ability to climb over others. It also emphasizes the need for resilience among those who care about the well-being of others. For every toxic personality that thrives, there are countless quiet acts of kindness, empathy, and decency happening behind the scenes.

It also teaches us about the strength of our own emotional boundaries. While assholes may leave a lasting imprint on us, we can choose how much space they occupy in our lives. Recognizing when someone’s behavior crosses the line into toxicity allows us to distance ourselves and, ultimately, stop giving them the power to linger in our minds.

Finally, it’s worth noting that the phrase “assholes live forever” doesn’t have to be entirely negative. In some ways, it’s a recognition of their durability. Despite their tendencies to burn bridges, to disrupt, and to tear others down, assholes often show a remarkable capacity for survival. If they can survive, so can we. The key is to learn from their persistence—not by emulating their behavior, but by understanding that it’s possible to thrive without compromising your values or becoming like them.

Conclusion

“Assholes live forever” is a sentiment that carries both truth and irony. In a world where toxic behavior sometimes seems to go unpunished or even rewarded, it can feel like assholes are eternal. But while they may stick in our memories, they don’t define the world around us. What truly lasts are the communities, the friendships, and the values that emphasize kindness, empathy, and integrity. So, let’s make sure it’s the better qualities that live forever—by continuing to build systems and lives that elevate the good, and leave the assholes behind.

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