Human interactions shape the way people see themselves and how they function in relationships, workplaces, and society. Some actions build others up, fostering confidence and growth, while others diminish a person’s sense of worth, capability, or value. Actions that make less of someone—whether intentional or not—can lead to self-doubt, strained relationships, and lost opportunities.

Understanding these behaviors is essential for preventing harm, fostering stronger connections, and maintaining mutual respect.

Types of Actions That Undermine Others

1. Dismissiveness

Ignoring or trivializing someone’s thoughts, feelings, or experiences can make them feel unimportant.

• Cutting someone off mid-sentence.
• Responding with indifference or sarcasm when they share something meaningful.
• Shifting focus away from their concerns to talk about something else.

People need to feel heard and valued in conversations. Consistently dismissing their input can make them feel invisible.

2. Public Embarrassment

Humiliating someone—whether through jokes, criticism, or exposing their mistakes—reduces their sense of dignity.

• Calling out mistakes in a condescending way.
• Making personal jokes at someone’s expense.
• Bringing up past failures in public.

Even if intended as humor, public embarrassment can deeply affect confidence and create resentment.

3. Undermining Confidence

Making someone question their own judgment or abilities can weaken their self-trust.

• Constantly correcting minor errors in an exaggerated way.
• Doubting their abilities, even when they have proven themselves.
• Over-explaining things to someone who is already knowledgeable (often referred to as “mansplaining”).

Confidence is built through encouragement and trust, but constant undermining leads to insecurity and hesitation.

4. Excluding and Isolating

Excluding someone from conversations, decisions, or social circles can make them feel unwanted or inferior.

• Leaving someone out of group discussions or events.
• Ignoring their presence in social settings.
• Creating inside jokes or cliques that intentionally exclude them.

Isolation can cause emotional distress and reinforce feelings of worthlessness.

5. Taking Credit for Their Efforts

Claiming credit for someone else’s work or ideas diminishes their contributions and disrespects their effort.

• Presenting their ideas as your own.
• Accepting praise for work they did without acknowledging them.
• Downplaying their role in a successful outcome.

Acknowledgment and credit are fundamental to fairness and motivation. Stealing recognition discourages future contributions.

6. Gaslighting

Manipulating someone into doubting their own experiences or feelings can erode their confidence and reality perception.

• Denying things that were said or done.
• Telling someone they are overreacting when they express a valid concern.
• Twisting events to make them question their memory.

Gaslighting can have lasting psychological effects, making individuals feel powerless and uncertain.

7. Patronizing Behavior

Speaking or acting as though someone is incapable of understanding basic concepts can be deeply condescending.

• Speaking slowly or using exaggerated explanations unnecessarily.
• Acting as if their accomplishments are surprising or undeserved.
• Treating adults like children in decision-making.

Patronizing behavior signals disrespect and suggests an assumption of superiority.

8. Controlling and Micromanaging

Over-monitoring someone’s decisions and actions implies that they are not capable of handling responsibilities on their own.

• Making decisions for them without their input.
• Dictating how they should complete a task rather than trusting their approach.
• Constantly checking their work as if expecting failure.

Trusting people with autonomy fosters independence and growth, while control restricts development.

The Consequences of Making Less of Someone

Actions that diminish others can have far-reaching effects on personal relationships, workplaces, and society.

• Damaged Self-Worth: Repeatedly being dismissed or undermined leads to low self-esteem.
• Lost Motivation: Feeling undervalued discourages effort and initiative.
• Strained Relationships: Being treated as lesser creates resentment and emotional distance.
• Reduced Productivity: In professional settings, undervaluing employees results in disengagement and lower performance.
• Psychological Impact: Persistent undermining can contribute to anxiety, depression, and self-doubt.

How to Avoid Undermining Others

1. Practice Active Listening

Give people your full attention when they speak. Validate their thoughts and experiences instead of dismissing them.

2. Acknowledge and Credit Others

Recognize contributions openly and ensure credit is given where it is due.

3. Offer Constructive, Not Destructive, Feedback

If correction is necessary, offer it with encouragement rather than criticism designed to shame.

4. Encourage Independence

Trust others to make decisions and support their growth rather than controlling them.

5. Be Mindful of Tone and Delivery

The way something is said is just as important as the message itself. Avoid condescending language and unnecessary corrections.

Conclusion

Making less of someone, whether through dismissiveness, public embarrassment, undermining confidence, or exclusion, can cause lasting damage to self-esteem and relationships. Recognizing these behaviors and actively avoiding them fosters respect, collaboration, and growth. The way people are treated directly affects their self-perception and willingness to contribute. Building others up instead of tearing them down creates a healthier, more supportive environment for everyone.