It is hard enough getting over someone when you never have to see them again. It is a different kind of heavy when they were clearly into you, then pulled away, and now you still bump into them at work, school, or in your social circle. Your brain remembers how it felt when they were warm. Your body feels the drop in their energy every time you are in the same room.

You are not weak for struggling with this. Your reaction is human. The goal is not to magically feel nothing, but to slowly take your power back, even while they stay in your line of sight.

Here is a practical guide.

1. Start With the Hard Truth: Their Change of Heart Is Real

One of the most painful parts is the mental tug of war:

• “They used to like me, so maybe they still do.”
• “Maybe I did something wrong and could fix it.”
• “If I act right, maybe it goes back to how it was.”

This keeps you stuck in limbo. To move forward, you need a grounding truth: their current behavior is the truth you have to work with, not their past interest.

You do not have to villainize them, but you need to accept:

• They felt something, and now they do not show up for you that way.
• That shift may never be fully explained in a satisfying way.
• Your healing cannot depend on their explanation or comeback.

Acceptance hurts, but it is the doorway out of fantasy.

2. Separate “My Worth” From “Their Choice”

When somebody pulls away, it is easy to translate that as “I was not enough.” Your mind starts scanning for flaws.

Reality check: people lose interest for many reasons that have nothing to do with your value. Timing, emotional availability, fear of commitment, their mental health, conflicting priorities, unresolved past relationships. Their choice lives in their story, not in your worth.

Try this reframing exercise:

• Instead of: “They stopped liking me because I am not attractive or interesting enough.”
  Say: “They chose not to pursue this. That says more about where they are than about my overall value.”
• Instead of: “I must have ruined it.”
  Say: “Maybe I was imperfect, but so were they. Relationships are not math equations. Sometimes things just do not land.”

Write down three qualities you know you bring to the table that do not vanish just because this person backed off. Keep that list where you can see it.

3. Create Emotional Boundaries While Staying Civil

You may not be able to cut contact, but you can cut emotional access. That is what boundaries are for.

Emotional boundaries in this situation can look like:

• Keeping conversations brief and neutral instead of personal and deep.
• Not volunteering your feelings, your dating life, or your private struggles to them.
• Letting go of habits that keep you bonded, like late night texting, inside jokes, or constant online interaction.

A simple internal rule helps:

• “I will be polite and respectful, but I will no longer treat this person like my emotional safe place.”

You are training your brain: they are just another person in the room now, not your secret main character.

4. Stop Feeding the Attachment Loop

Attachment is strengthened by repetition: thinking about them, checking on them, replaying conversations. Even if you are not aware of it, you might be feeding the same loop that hurts you.

Watch for these behaviors:

• Checking their social media or stories.
• Reading into every glance or short conversation.
• Rehearsing “what if” scenarios in your head.
• Comparing every other person to them.

Each of these gives your brain a hit of them, which keeps the attachment alive. You do not have to be perfect, but your aim is less fuel.

Practical options:

• Mute their stories and posts for a while.
• If you find yourself stalking their accounts, set a clear rule: “No searching their name.”
• When you catch yourself replaying a moment, gently interrupt the thought and shift to a different focus: a task, a song, a conversation with someone else.

You are not trying to never think of them. You are trying not to obsessively water the connection that is no longer mutual.

5. Prepare Scripts For When You See Them

Awkwardness is easier when you have a plan. You know you will see them, so instead of dreading it in a vague way, give yourself simple scripts and behaviors.

For example:

• If they say “Hey, how are you?”
  You: “Hey, I am good, busy with [work / class / project]. You?”
  Then you excuse yourself: “I have to run to a thing, talk later.”
• If you are in a group and they are there, decide ahead of time:
  • You will engage with the group, not chase one on one moments.
  • You will sit where you feel comfortable, not where it maximizes contact with them.

The point is not to be cold or rude. The point is to stop playing the role of “person orbiting them” and start acting like “person with their own orbit who happens to share a space.”

6. Reclaim Your Spaces

When someone has emotional weight, they start to occupy physical space in your mind too. Certain hallways, rooms, lunch spots, or events begin to feel like “theirs.”

You can reclaim those.

Ideas:

• If you can, slightly change your routines. Different lunch spot, different desk, different path.
• If you cannot change the place, change what you do there. Bring a friend. Wear headphones and listen to a podcast. Use that time for a specific task.
• Create fresh memories in shared spaces that do not include them. Laugh with someone else, focus on your goals, bring new energy.

You are telling your nervous system: this place belongs to my life, not to my hurt.

7. Let Yourself Grieve What Could Have Been

You are not just losing what was. You are losing the version of the future you quietly started to build with them in your head. That future felt real. When they pulled back, that little imagined world collapsed.

That deserves grief. You do not have to “be cool” about it.

Grieving can look like:

• Admitting to yourself, “I really liked them. I really hoped this would go somewhere.”
• Writing a letter you never send, where you say what you wish you could say, then deleting or burning it.
• Letting yourself feel sad, angry, disappointed, instead of shaming yourself for caring.

The goal is not to drown in it, but to allow it to move through so it does not freeze inside you.

8. Redirect That Energy Into Yourself

One of the fastest ways to untangle from someone is to pour the energy you were giving to them into building your own life.

Ask yourself:

• Where have I been neglecting myself because I was focused on them?
• What skills, habits, or projects would make my life richer regardless of who is in it?
• Who in my life actually shows up for me right now, and how can I invest in those connections?

Concrete moves:

• Start or return to a physical routine: gym, walking, sports, classes. Movement is medicine for heartbreak.
• Pick a personal project: learning a skill, working on a side goal, improving your finances, art, music, language, anything.
• Spend more time around people who like you without confusion. Friends, family, coworkers who feel easy to be around.

You are rebuilding the story your brain tells about who matters most in your life. You are shifting the main character back to you.

9. Rewrite the Story You Tell About Them

At first, the story in your head might sound like:

“They were perfect, it was going so well, then it just died and I will never feel that way again.”

That story will break your heart every time you repeat it. You need a version that is kinder and more accurate. Something like:

“We had a moment. It was real at the time. They changed direction, and it hurt. But it showed me how much capacity I have to care and connect. That part of me is not wasted. It will just be better spent somewhere else.”

This is not denial. It is choosing a story that does not trap you in permanent loss.

10. Know When You Need Extra Support

If the situation is affecting your sleep, your appetite, your work, or your ability to function for a long stretch, reaching out for help is not dramatic.

Support can be:

• Talking honestly with a trusted friend who does not judge you for still caring.
• Journaling regularly to empty out the thoughts instead of carrying them all day.
• Speaking with a therapist or counselor if you feel stuck, numb, or overwhelmed.

Heartbreak can be a trigger for old wounds. Getting support is part of taking yourself seriously.

11. Give It Time, But Use That Time Wisely

Time alone does not heal everything. What you do with that time matters. If you spend months still checking on them, replaying scenes, and staying emotionally open to their return, the wound keeps reopening.

Using time well looks like:

• Sticking to your boundaries even on days you feel tempted to break them.
• Continuing to build a life that feels bigger than this one storyline.
• Letting their presence in your world fade from “intense emotional highlight” to “background character.”

One day, you will see them and feel a smaller reaction than before. Then smaller again. Then it will be more like seeing an old chapter than an open wound. That shift happens slowly, and you usually do not notice it in the moment. But it happens.

---

You cannot control that they were into you and then stopped. You cannot control that you still have to see them. What you can control is how much of your mental, emotional, and spiritual real estate they continue to own.

Getting over someone in your daily orbit is not about pretending you never cared. It is about honoring that you did, then choosing, again and again, to build a life that does not revolve around someone who no longer meets you halfway.