Self-centeredness is often revealed less through dramatic actions and more through the quiet, casual phrases people use without thinking. These expressions can slip into conversation so naturally that the speaker never realizes they are shifting the focus to themselves, diminishing others’ experiences, or subtly placing themselves above the group. Recognizing these “tell” phrases can help you identify when a conversation is being unconsciously tilted toward one person’s ego.
“That reminds me of when I…”
While it may be intended as a way to connect, this phrase often signals a quick turn from the other person’s experience to the speaker’s own. It can give the impression that the listener’s story exists only to prompt the speaker’s anecdote.
“I totally did that too, but…”
By inserting their own similar experience and immediately following it with a qualifier, the speaker shifts the conversation toward their own perspective and away from the original topic.
“You know what I would have done?”
Even if offered as helpful advice, this phrase centers the speaker’s judgment rather than validating the other person’s approach or experience. It can unintentionally make the other person feel as if they handled things poorly.
“When I went through something like that…”
This can sound supportive, but often it becomes an opening to describe the speaker’s situation in greater detail than the one just shared. The original story gets overshadowed.
“That’s nothing compared to…”
This phrase downplays someone else’s experience by directly ranking it as less significant than the speaker’s own. Even if it is meant jokingly, it can feel dismissive.
“I can’t believe they didn’t notice what I did.”
Expressing frustration over not being acknowledged can subtly signal that the speaker places high value on their own recognition, even in group settings where attention is shared.
“I actually taught them how to…”
Framing someone else’s skill or success as stemming from the speaker’s influence shifts ownership away from that person and reinforces the speaker’s central role.
“I’m the kind of person who…”
While this phrase can be harmless in some contexts, it often serves as a way for the speaker to shape the narrative around themselves, even when the conversation is about someone else.
“I had it even worse when…”
By immediately raising the stakes of their own experience, the speaker may unintentionally invalidate the other person’s hardship.
“It’s just that I’ve always been…”
This self-referential framing can redirect attention from the topic at hand to the speaker’s traits, values, or history, often without realizing it.
These phrases do not always indicate malice or conscious arrogance, but they are reliable indicators that someone’s focus is drifting inward. The difference between being relatable and being self-centered often comes down to timing, balance, and genuine interest in others’ experiences.
