The phrase “what you resist persists” is often quoted in self-help, psychology, and mindfulness contexts. It suggests that the more you push against a thought, feeling, or situation, the more entrenched it becomes in your mind or life. But what does this really mean, and how can understanding it help you? Let’s break it down.
The Meaning of “What You Resist Persists”
At its core, this phrase highlights the idea that resistance creates focus. When you resist something—whether it’s a negative emotion, an unpleasant reality, or a challenging situation—you give it more attention and energy. This heightened focus can amplify its presence, making it feel stronger and more overwhelming.
For example:
- If you’re trying to avoid thinking about a mistake you made, your resistance to confronting it may lead to obsessive overthinking.
- If you avoid difficult emotions like sadness or anger, they can linger longer or resurface in unhealthy ways.
The phrase is often attributed to Carl Jung, a renowned psychologist, though its roots are grounded in broader philosophical and psychological teachings.
Why Resistance Amplifies Problems
Resisting something is a natural response. It stems from a desire to avoid discomfort or protect ourselves. However, resistance often backfires because:
- Focus Creates Strength: When you try to avoid or suppress something, you’re still focusing on it, which reinforces its presence in your mind.
- Example: Telling yourself, “I won’t think about my anxiety,” ironically makes you think about it more.
- Avoidance Prevents Resolution: Avoiding issues doesn’t make them disappear; it just delays dealing with them. The longer you resist, the more the issue festers.
- Example: Ignoring a conflict in a relationship can lead to resentment growing over time.
- Emotions Need to Be Processed: Emotions like anger, fear, or sadness don’t vanish if ignored. Instead, they may manifest as physical symptoms, stress, or unexpected emotional outbursts.
- Example: Bottling up frustration may lead to a sudden, explosive argument later.
Applying the Concept: How to Stop Resisting
Understanding “what you resist persists” can help you shift your approach to challenges, emotions, and difficult situations. Here’s how:
- Acknowledge What You’re Feeling or Facing
- Instead of suppressing or avoiding a problem, acknowledge its presence. Name the emotion or issue, and accept that it’s part of your current reality.
- Example: Instead of saying, “I shouldn’t feel anxious,” say, “I’m feeling anxious right now, and that’s okay.”
- Practice Acceptance, Not Avoidance
- Acceptance doesn’t mean giving up or agreeing with a negative situation—it means recognizing it without judgment. This can reduce the emotional charge and make it easier to address.
- Example: If you’re stressed about a project, accept that stress is natural in the moment, and focus on manageable steps forward.
- Face Challenges Head-On
- Avoiding or resisting problems only delays resolution. Instead, take proactive steps to address the issue, even if it feels uncomfortable at first.
- Example: If you’re avoiding a tough conversation, prepare for it, then have the discussion rather than letting tension build.
- Focus on Letting Go
- Sometimes, resistance is rooted in a desire to control everything. Letting go of this need can free you from unnecessary stress.
- Example: If you’re upset about something outside your control, remind yourself, “I can’t change this, but I can control how I respond.”
Examples in Everyday Life
- Relationships: Constantly trying to suppress feelings of jealousy or insecurity in a relationship can make them stronger. Acknowledging and discussing them openly can lead to understanding and resolution.
- Work Stress: Avoiding a challenging task often makes it loom larger in your mind. Tackling it directly, even in small steps, can reduce stress.
- Personal Growth: Resisting change often makes it harder to adapt. Embracing change, even when it’s uncomfortable, can lead to growth and resilience.
The Takeaway
“What you resist persists” is a powerful reminder that avoidance and suppression often prolong the very issues we’re trying to escape. By acknowledging, accepting, and addressing challenges, we can move through them more effectively and with less emotional strain.
The next time you find yourself resisting a thought, feeling, or situation, pause and ask yourself:
- What am I trying to avoid?
- How can I face this with acceptance instead of resistance?
By embracing what is, rather than fighting against it, you’ll find it easier to move forward and regain peace of mind.
