Life is wild, unpredictable, and tragically short. It’s a gift wrapped in uncertainty, and it demands that we face a fundamental question: What do you actually want? Not what others expect of you. Not what seems practical or safe. Not what you think you should want. But what you, in the depths of your soul, genuinely desire.
It’s a question many of us evade. Why? Because answering it requires honesty, vulnerability, and courage. Yet, until you confront this question head-on, life risks becoming a series of default choices rather than deliberate, meaningful actions. So, let’s stop running. Let’s dig deep and uncover what you truly want in this one precious life.
Why We Avoid the Question
- Fear of Failure
Admitting what you want makes it real, and the thought of pursuing it—and potentially failing—is terrifying. It’s easier to pretend the question doesn’t exist than to risk falling short. - Fear of Judgment
What if your dreams don’t align with societal norms, family expectations, or the opinions of others? Fear of judgment can keep you playing it safe. - Overwhelm
Life’s demands often make it feel impossible to pause and reflect. The question feels too big, too abstract, or too distant. - Uncertainty
Sometimes, you just don’t know what you want. It’s not evasion—it’s confusion. The path forward seems unclear, so you don’t start walking.
The Cost of Avoidance
Evading this question has consequences. Without clarity, life can feel aimless. You may find yourself:
- Drifting through routines without a sense of purpose.
- Pursuing goals that don’t truly fulfill you.
- Living according to others’ expectations instead of your own.
- Regretting the things you didn’t do when time runs out.
Avoiding the question doesn’t make it go away. It just delays the moment when you’ll have to face it—and the longer you wait, the harder it becomes.
Confronting the Question: What Do You Actually Want?
- Be Brutally Honest with Yourself
Strip away external influences and listen to your inner voice. Ask yourself:- If no one were watching, what would I do with my life?
- What makes me feel alive, joyful, and fulfilled?
- If I knew I couldn’t fail, what would I pursue?
- Think Beyond Practicality
Practicality is important, but it shouldn’t be the starting point. Begin with your dreams and desires. You can figure out logistics later. - Acknowledge Your Fears
Fear is natural, but it shouldn’t dictate your choices. Identify what scares you about pursuing your desires and address those fears head-on. - Imagine the End
Fast-forward to the end of your life. What would you regret not doing? What legacy would you want to leave behind? Use these reflections to guide your choices now.
Breaking It Down: What Do You Want in Key Areas of Life?
- Personal Growth
What kind of person do you want to become? What skills, knowledge, or experiences would make you proud of who you are? - Relationships
Who do you want to surround yourself with? What kind of relationships bring you joy, connection, and support? - Work and Purpose
What kind of work feels meaningful to you? How can you align your career with your passions and values? - Lifestyle
What kind of life do you want to live day-to-day? Where do you want to live? How do you want to spend your time? - Impact
How do you want to contribute to the world? What causes, communities, or ideas matter to you?
Taking Action: How to Move Toward What You Want
- Clarify Your Priorities
You can’t pursue everything at once. Focus on the one or two things that matter most to you right now. - Set Small, Actionable Goals
Break your big dreams into smaller steps. Start with what you can do today, even if it’s just brainstorming or researching. - Embrace Uncertainty
Life will never be completely predictable. Pursue your desires despite the unknowns. Growth happens when you step into discomfort. - Reevaluate Regularly
Desires evolve over time. Check in with yourself often to ensure you’re still aligned with what you want. - Surround Yourself with Support
Seek out people who inspire and encourage you. Share your goals with trusted friends, mentors, or communities.
Living with Intention
The truth is, you may never have a perfectly clear answer to the question, What do I actually want? That’s okay. The act of asking, exploring, and pursuing what feels meaningful is what matters. Life’s unpredictability doesn’t make it terrifying—it makes it exciting. It’s your blank canvas, your unwritten story.
So, stop evading the question. Take a moment, take a breath, and ask yourself: What do I actually want with my one wild, terrifying, unpredictable, and tragically short life? Then, start moving toward it—step by step, day by day. The journey to discovering and pursuing your deepest desires is the greatest adventure you’ll ever undertake.
