The Chinese proverb 己所不欲，勿施于人 (Jǐ suǒ bù yù, wù shī yú rén) translates to “Do not do unto others what you would not have them do unto you.” It conveys a principle of empathy and mutual respect, urging people to consider others’ feelings and avoid imposing harm or discomfort that they themselves would not want to experience. This saying promotes the concept of reciprocity, suggesting that ethical behavior is grounded in treating others with the same kindness and fairness that one expects in return.

Origin

The proverb originates from the teachings of Confucius, a prominent Chinese philosopher who lived between 551 and 479 BCE. This particular phrase appears in The Analects, a collection of his thoughts and dialogues compiled by his disciples. Confucius emphasized moral integrity, social harmony, and respect for others as foundational principles of human relationships. This idea of reciprocity, also known as the “Golden Rule,” is found in various forms across different cultures, but Confucius’s version focuses on avoiding harm as a key ethical guideline.

Conversation Examples

1. Scenario 1: Workplace Conflict Liang: “I was really angry at my coworker and wanted to spread some rumors about him.” Mei: “Liang, don’t forget: 己所不欲，勿施于人. You wouldn’t want someone doing that to you, right? It’s better to resolve conflicts directly.”
2. Scenario 2: Classroom Debate Student 1: “Why should I care if I cut in line? It’s just a few minutes of waiting.” Teacher: “Remember, 己所不欲，勿施于人. If someone cut in front of you, you wouldn’t like it. Everyone deserves to be treated fairly.”
3. Scenario 3: Family Discussion Mother: “Your brother didn’t lend you his game console because you never return his things on time.” Son: “That’s not fair!” Mother: “But think about it. 己所不欲，勿施于人. Would you like it if he never returned your things?”

This proverb’s timeless message about empathy, respect, and ethical behavior continues to be relevant in modern contexts, reminding us to treat others with the consideration and fairness we would expect for ourselves.